After a break-up, you are not only faced with many broken pieces, but also with many questions. One of them is: What will happen to us now? Will we never see each other again or will we get closer? Words are often said that sound strange at first: Let's stay friends!

Does he really mean it - or is it just a cliché?

"It'susually said by the person ending the relationship in order to defuse the situation," says Ferdinand Krieg. "They know that they are hurting the other person - and perhaps want to comfort them. Which doesn't mean he can't be serious." It is usually better to keep your distance first - also to make it easier for the person being left to let go. In this case, the expert recommends: "Say to him: 'I don't think we should see each other for a while. You can let me know when you're over it'." How long it takes someone to come to terms with a break-up varies. Many need a third of the length of the relationship, some need more. "If you notice that the other person is not yet ready and is hoping for a love comeback, then you should slow them down," says the couples therapist.

You need to set boundaries: What is allowed and what is taboo?

If you are interested in a long-term friendship after the break-up, you need to make it clear: 'Our relationship is only platonic, there's nothing more to it! Meeting up for a coffee, pursuing hobbies together, helping with the move - no problem. "But a vacation for two or a cosy DVD evening would be too much of a good thing," says the expert. "The risk of getting closer again, perhaps even ending up in bed, is too great - especially if the break-up was not so long ago." Then you're back to square one - and make everything even more complicated.

Friendship after a break-up - does it always make sense?

You have to ask yourself: Is what connects me to the other person still enough? The expert knows: "If I've stopped leading my own life in the relationship and have just gone from one conflict to the next, it will be difficult to build a real friendship after a break-up. If you've been cheated on, it's usually even impossible." Things get particularly tricky when children are involved. If you've started a family, it's practically your duty to stay in touch. After all, the little ones can't help it if mom and dad argue. "You have to pull yourself together, even if it's hard," says Krieg. If the relationship is very fractured, there are two strategies: "Some have a friend take the children to their ex-partner. Others face up to the situation and reward themselves with something nice to compensate, such as meeting friends, wellness, a new dress. That can help!"