The Belgian priest and writer Phil Bosmans once said: "A compliment is sunshine with words." And who of us doesn't enjoy a few bright, warming rays that sweeten our day and make us blossom? Time to pass this sunshine on to our loved ones.
Giving compliments: more appreciation and gratitude
Where would we be without all the lovely people around us who enrich our lives on a daily basis? However, we all too often take the support of friends, family and colleagues for granted. If we become more aware of them and give compliments that come from the heart more often, we also give ourselves a gift - because we realize again how many things we can be grateful for. And we also want to be appreciated ourselves - and it's usually not about the big things, but about the many small things in our daily lives. A simple "Thank you for doing the shopping today!" also means: Thank you, I see what you do every day, thank you for taking care of things that I didn't need. That's why everyone values compliments!
Why do we often find it so difficult to give compliments?
According to Alexandra Sievers, compliments are not the German way. As an expert in contemporary manners and rhetoric and a board member of the German Etiquette Society, she should know. Germans are also brought up to be modest. So it's down to our upbringing! But thank goodness it's never too late to learn - when it comes to our happiness and that of our loved ones, we should work on ourselves every day. Learning to give compliments is one thing. This also includes accepting compliments. Here, too, we find it difficult. A nicely meant comment about our new item of clothing, a new sofa or how good we look today quickly puts us on the spot. We then belittle the sweater, the new furniture or ourselves so as not to be the center of attention. We should respond wholeheartedly: "Thank you so much, how much you love us!"
What kind words do for us
Using kind words to tell someone how important they are to us - psychologists have found in studies that this releases positive energy in our counterparts (and us!), increases our well-being and stabilizes relationships. The best thing is that compliments don't just make us feel happy for a brief moment, they give us a long-lasting boost.
A compliment at the right time is like a good perfume: it is fragrant but never overpowering
Sweeten other people's everyday lives with kindness
It's so easy to give a compliment: write to your favorite person and thank them for being so nice to you. Praise your colleague for the great teamwork. Tell your regular sales clerk at the bakery how wonderful you think her service is. Tip: If you want to say "Thank you for being there" in writing: An email does the job, but a postcard or letter is many times more personal. The person you want to compliment is guaranteed to be pleasantly surprised.
Don't forget: Be good to yourself!
Yes, we also like to hear kind words of praise. But what if there's no one around to say them to us? Then let's follow the advice of columnist Barbara Becker: "Compliment yourself - like your best friend" or writer Mark Twain: "If you don't get compliments, you have to give yourself some." Or take inspiration from our Inspiration of the Day!