Your girlfriend is sitting in front of you with a beaming face and thinks your husband is soooo cute! Well, if I were my girlfriend, I wouldn't be blowing sugar up my partner's ass with bliss. Excuse me - but that really got to me. This naivety or my prudishness?

For me, an infidelity on the part of my husband would be THE final straw. Is it just me - wouldn't that be the end for you too? It's not easy to remain "faithful" even in a well-functioning relationship. By well (well, in my eyes it's just short of satisfying;-) ) functioning marriage, cohabitation - let's agree on relationship - I mean a relaxed and humorous togetherness. Where not only one takes and the other gives. A balanced togetherness, where it is also desirable to have friends and to visit them (alone). Or to go to events without being accompanied at home, without there being a jealousy drama at home. That's roughly what I call a well-functioning relationship. But for me, deliberate cheating isn't part of refreshing a relationship.

Nobody knows what else can happen to you. Falling in love again can happen to anyone. Here, however, the focus is clearly on "che ating" in a long-term relationship.
In most cases, deliberate cheating starts at home. It starts when the hours of laughter turn into long days of discussion. The lightness of the butterflies gives way to the heaviness of the concrete blocks in your stomach. Neither of the two makes an effort for the other anymore. Shit! ☹

Perhaps the following question fits in with my prudishness: If I notice that something is going wrong at home, isn't it easier to discuss it with my partner than to immediately give in to the advances of my colleague, the neighbor, the baker's wife or the hot flirt from the previous evening? Not according to my girlfriend's husband. He cheated to freshen up their relationship! "So," I asked my friend, "are you having sex again now, are you laughing more at home again or are you making an effort for each other again? "
"Well," said my girlfriend, "since I know that Michael has been cheating, everything is much more relaxed at home. No more arguments. But the fact that he's making an effort for me now...? He tries to go off duty earlier but that doesn't always work."
Grrrrrr, is that just me? Or did you also just think - Gosh girl, wake up! Anyway, anyone who finds themselves in such a situation will probably find it difficult to think clearly.
I'll try to look at it from two sides ...

Pro:
Giving in to a one-night stand gives you a boost. No doubt about it. You feel more desirable, more attractive and more fun-loving. But this only has an effect on your own self-confidence and confirms once again that this is exactly what is missing in your own relationship. All the inhibitions that you haven't shed in bed at home after all these years are no longer there in a foreign bed.

Because of the great sex, you think about turning a one-night stand into something more permanent on the side. I ask you: how long does something like that last? Only as long as no one notices. What your partner doesn't know won't turn them on. A true sentence and perhaps there is more truth in it than we think. But if it does come out by some stupid chance, what then?
"Darling, I did it for us. To refresh our partnership." This sentence doesn't make the consequences any nicer or easier to understand. But let's assume that the rest of us react in the same way as my girlfriend. Isn't repetition inevitable?

Contra:
For me personally, such an infidelity would be out of the question. I wouldn't be able to look my partner in the eye. You don't just lie to your partner either - someone will be the alibi and this person in the know will also lie. In my opinion, "cheating " is cowardly. There's nothing honest about this sex adventure. It's just pure thrills and that's what makes you tingle. If you don't think about it, you could confuse it with butterflies in your stomach. Isn't it the same feeling as when you were stealing cherries from your neighbor's garden or swimming naked at night in a closed swimming pool? The main thing is not to get caught.

Some people also cheat so that they can finally turn their back on their relationship. In my opinion, that's not nice, but it happens. But cheating and declaring it as a lively refresher is an absolute no-go in my eyes.

ORION blogger Siria