But it's not just women who use this phrase to avoid sex, men do too. Less so perhaps, but they do it. Sure, you may really not feel like having sex, but what happens in a relationship if the phrase is uttered more than once? It can lead to mistrust and insecurity, which in turn leads to an absolute lull in bed - and that in turn can lead to the end of the relationship... We all know that there are times when one of the reasons mentioned above can actually become a lust killer. But there are others, and before they find their way into your sex life at home, here are a few tips to nip your own or your partner's lack of desire in the bud.
- Is it his selfishness in bed that turns YOU off? The blowjob, handjob or whatever-it-is job that he loves so much and where he comes 100% and can't bring himself to return the favor out of tiredness? It's not that we women don't like making our men so ecstatic. But does that satisfy us? No, we would also like a sensual massage beforehand or some excellent tongue play ...
- Or is it boredom that turns HER or him off? Lights out, undress, position 1-3 and it's there, the highlight of the day. The weather forecast is certainly more varied than always having the same sex. This is a sex problem that men and women can solve very quickly. Ask your partner what they want or tell them about your fantasies so that you can realize them the other way around. And if it seems silly to show a different side of yourself in your bedroom, then try the hotel in the next town. Changing locations can sometimes be very inspiring.
- But maybe it's the inhibitions that give women a headache. There's the tummy that won't tuck in or the bottom that has cellulite - oh, there are so many things that make women doubt themselves at such times. A compliment would be just the thing. And it would be even better if a man didn't just come around the corner with compliments before sex. Women are always up for such flattery.
- If you're stressed, it helps to listen first and give her a hug. This has a very relaxing effect and can open you up to other things. But if the erotic pleasure doesn't materialize, please don't exert any pressure, otherwise the last flame will go out. Be patient and you will see: The desire for sex will come all by itself ...
Personally, I also think that give and take is the be-all and end-all when it comes to sex. Everyone should be able to reach their climax and not see it as something unattainable during sex for two.
ORION blogger Siria