How important is sexuality for women and men?
People in Rhineland-Palatinate are the most satisfied, in Saxony they take the most time, in the south sex toys are used more often. 45 percent of men rate their love life as good. Only 37 percent of women do. On average, Germans have sex twice a week. 61% of men say that they always climax, but only 17% of women. And: women aged 55 and over orgasm more often than younger women. These are the findings of a survey conducted by condom manufacturer Durex (from 11/2020). But numbers aside. What interests us most about sexuality are completely different things, such as Is sex important for a relationship?
How important is sexuality for women of a certain age?
Sex is important, but it definitely changes - many women find it more intense and more beautiful. You approach it with more self-confidence - you know who you are and what you want, or no longer want. The years of trial and error are over. Read more: Sex after 50: what fulfills women now
How important is sex in a relationship?
Yes, sex is important for the relationship and the couple's bond. Men and women agree on this. Sex is also communication. Before people could speak, they could already touch each other. During sex, partners show each other that they accept each other, that they want to touch each other as they are. And nature helps too: During sex, the cuddling hormone oxytocin is released. This ensures the bond between couples. If we lack this, we miss the person we love.
Is sex also important for our health?
Very, although of course a couple could also go jogging together. Sex is more fun, and it's not mutually exclusive. But sex is no substitute for a sports program, and there is nothing that builds up and needs to be released. On the contrary: pressure from inside and outside, self-optimization to become a top lover, comparison with fictitious or media role models - all of this is detrimental to the experience of sexuality. Good sex requires the opposite, namely above all pleasure and relaxation.
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Is sex important for our soul?
Yes, sex flushes stress hormones out of the brain (especially during orgasm) and provides a very effective hormone cocktail for relaxation, a sense of belonging and bonding. Sex is regenerative, motivating, relaxing and inspiring all at the same time. The best antidepressant can't do that. And that's a good thing. That's why we have a sex life!
How many times a week is actually normal?
There is no normal in sexuality, the main thing is that the partners are happy with their love life - and sex life. But of course there are statistics. After 7 years of marriage, most couples have sex about once or twice a week. Happy long-term couples say that it has become less frequent over the years, but often better. So quality over quantity. There is also a new study with over 30,000 respondents. The result: those who had sex more than once a week did not rate their relationship satisfaction higher than those who slept together more often per week.
Does masturbation have the same effect?
No. Masturbation is a great thing and often also an orgasm guarantor, but the bonding hormone doesn't find a target, which is a shame. However, sex with your partner and masturbation are not mutually exclusive. Nor should they be mutually exclusive. Anyone who feels like touching themselves should do so. This applies to men and women of all ages.
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Is sex equally important for men and women?
According to the latest research by David Schnarch, for example, not particularly. But everyone's libido is different. It is desirable for every couple to be similar in their needs so that one partner is not repeatedly rejected in their desire. If this is not done respectfully, then at some point they will no longer take the initiative. The clinical sexual psychologist Professor Ahlers recently put it this way: "Women invest sex to get love, men seek love through sex."
What do you do if things don't work out in bed?
Only when partners know each other's desires can they live them out sexually. Sex and sexuality should be seen as a shared hobby. Sometimes you practice, sometimes things go wrong, but it connects and euphorizes even after a really bad day. Sex not only makes life more beautiful, it also brings couples together and strengthens their love.