What matters when choosing a partner

Oh, that's nice: when looking for a new partner, Germans are looking for one thing above all else - personality. In a recent survey by the opinion research institute YouGov, participants were asked to name six characteristics of a future partner: Personality, humor, intelligence, same interests, looks and money. These were to be ranked in order of importance. The pleasing result: for both women (56 percent) and men (51 percent), character is the undisputed number one. When it comes to the second most important quality of great love, the sexes differ: while the humor of the chosen one plays a very important role for women, the appearance of their partner is what counts for the male respondents. Fortunately, both sexes agree on this again: Money plays the least important role when looking for a partner.

Why are there more and more soloists?

The online dating site Elitepartner got to the bottom of the question of why more and more people are staying single. The most common reasons are:

• High demands: this is especially true for women: 48 percent of them see the cause in their unwillingness to compromise.
• Shyness : Surprisingly, male singles in particular struggle with this: almost half of them blame their insecurity.
• Career: work instead of cuddling? For one in two singles, career advancement is the main priority.
• Fear of disappointment: Those who have been hurt several times find it difficult to get involved with someone again.

Alone but happy?

Depressingly lonely evenings on the sofa? Not at all! US psychologist Bella DePaulo has analyzed several studies on the lives of singles. The result: many singles are better off than couples. Singles value a fulfilling, demanding and meaningful job from which they derive a lot of recognition. 14 Single people place more value on friends and family and are generally better connected socially, while couples tend to isolate themselves. Many singles feel happier and healthier overall - which could also be due to their lively social life. People who live alone have a higher degree of self-determination and a better developed personality structure.

Where couples find each other most often

Even though more and more people are looking for love online: In reality, the traditional ways still play the biggest role, a Statista study shows:

• Among friends: this is where the chance of finding a suitable partner is greatest: 27 percent of couples find each other this way.
• When going out: In a bar, movie theater or club, 16 percent of Germans meet the love of their life.
• At work: People see each other every day and spend an above-average amount of time together. Every 11th person falls in love at work.
• In the neighborhood: We often run into each other - it can quickly turn into something more: Six percent have a spark right on their doorstep.

Online portals: It works well here

Parship
According to the advertising slogan, a single falls in love on this platform every 11 minutes - and that's almost true, as a study by the portal Singleboersen-vergleich.de shows: Every 12 minutes there is a spark here. This makes Parship the most successful portal in the upper price segment with a matchmaking rate of 35 percent.

LoveScout24
The success rate for a permanent partnership on this mid-priced dating site is 23% - a good average.

The young ones: LoVoo and Badoo
The inexpensive flirting app LoVoo (many functions are even free) is just as likely to get you a first date as more expensive providers. Badoo works in a similar way. Unlike Tinder, you can also specify your interests

Question for the expert: Are more and more people really unable to find a relationship?

Eric Hegmann (52) is a couples counselor and Parship coach. You can find out more about him and his work at www.eric-hegmann.de

"In my experience, the supposed diagnosis of 'unable to have a relationship' doesn't really exist. Everyone is capable of having a relationship, but perhaps not everyone has sufficient relationship skills to react to the changes that affect every relationship from within and without. However, this has always been the case: hardly anyone is happy with narcissists or pessimists. "Unable to relate" is also often associated with non-commitment. You often hear the theory that people no longer commit because they assume there is a supposedly better partner out there. But I can't confirm that. Rather, I experience fear of loss and fear of commitment as relationship inhibitors. These feelings usually stem from injuries from previous relationships and are unconscious protective strategies to avoid being hurt again. The more relationships and break-ups people experience, the harder it is for them to open up again and regain trust."

Top 6 cities for singles

The market research institute GfK shows where there are the most single-person households in Germany:

1st place: Berlin
2nd place: Hamburg
3rd place: Munich
4th place: Cologne