The 3 biggest relationship myths
1. opposites attract
In the first few months of a relationship, when everything is still tingling emotionally, opposites can be quite exciting. Once the first butterflies have faded, however, reality sets in: and it can be damn exhausting if you have nothing in common at all. You should definitely come to a common denominator on the core issues so that you can pull together. Or how can a partnership work if you're not on the same wavelength? Total opposites are a test of endurance for couples alone, and when children are involved, they are almost impossible to overcome.
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2. everything should be balanced in the relationship
When it comes to equality, you can of course immediately subscribe to this statement. However, it is often understood as a kind of to-do list: if I do this, my partner has to do that. And vice versa. The point is that you don't want the relationship to be seen as a bookkeeping exercise: If your partner has their guys' night out on Fridays, then you don't necessarily have to have a girls' night out too. You can also just be happy that he's having a good time. Only have a girls' night out because you feel like it and not because he had fun on his own. If the bottom line is that you only count up and count down later on, then the relationship will be one big corset. Treat each other to something, be happy for each other and invest in your relationship - these are the key messages!
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3. only in bad relationships do people argue loudly
You always feel queasy when your best friend says: "We never argue!" Maybe she should do that once in a while so that everything that builds up can get out. The volume of an argument is not a sign of an unhappy relationship - there are many couples who are very harmonious in everyday life but argue like tinkers. You should just be careful that the argument doesn't consist mainly of hurt or a complete lack of respect. However, you can also hurt people with calm words - and that can be even worse because the words don't come in the heat of the moment. The bottom line is that never arguing only means constantly avoiding conflict. Often only one person is conflict-averse while the other is seething - and that's supposed to be good for a relationship? Then it's better to let it out. As the saying goes: "A cleansing thunderstorm!"
Date: 25.08.2020
Author: Tanja Seiffert