It hurts when a date doesn't go as well as you'd hoped. Or sometimes you have the feeling that you'll never find the man of your dreams. Finding a partner can also lead to success in an uncomplicated way. But how? Author Andrea Micus knows how.

Goals instead of desires: never proceed haphazardly again

Take responsibility for your happiness. If you really want a partner, you need to have a fixed goal in mind. Say loud and clear: "I'm looking for a man!" And then make a concrete plan of how and where you want to achieve this. In a sports club, via an online portal? Ask friends to help you with this.

New self-image: Know and use your own strengths

Detach yourself from the past. Compare the image that others have of you with your own perception. Do the two match? List your talents and typical behaviors. Be loving and honest with yourself. Think about who you really are - and then start your search with new self-confidence.

No superman: always stay realistic

Dreaming is not forbidden, but it rarely leads to anything concrete. If you go after men with too high expectations, you will soon be disappointed. Instead, think about why things didn't work out in previous relationships. And what qualities the men you were very happy with had. Be realistic about the type of man you would like to have by your side now.

Willingness to compromise: be open-minded

Do you want a partner who completely adapts to your habits and preferences? That's quite a lot to ask - and it will rob you of the exciting opportunity to get involved with someone with new quirks and habits. Make a note of which topics you would be open-minded about. Could a commuter relationship be an option? And your search radius has already expanded.

Serenity: take a relaxed approach to the date

The right place could be a small café - a place where you feel comfortable and can have a good conversation. Be open to what happens and don't pretend. Small talk to get started is great, but don't forget that you are here to get to know someone better. Feel free to ask about personal experiences, wishes and goals. Be just as open, smile and make eye contact.

In the event of setbacks: Don't give up too quickly

Disappointments leave their mark - of course. Don't ignore them. Pamper yourself with nice things, do something that builds you up and gives you new strength - a better alternative than retreating into your shell. Learn from the experience. And carry on. With new knowledge and optimism. Don't see dating as a necessary evil, but as what it really is: an exciting stage in your life that will enrich you.

You can read more about this in Andrea Micus' entertaining guide for single women: "Help, I can't find a man!"