"I was 36 and had been with my partner for 17 years - childhood sweethearts. The relationship was good, my job was okay, all in all I thought my life was fine. The next steps would have been to get married and have children, as many of my friends had already done.

The separation tore the rug out from under my feet

Then the sudden separation. It tore the rug out from under my feet when he confessed that his love was "simply gone". Then came the move out of the apartment we shared, property division and everything that went with it - and I fell into a deep hole.

Suddenly I had to start all over again. What had gone wrong, I asked myself. This was the man I wanted to start a family with and grow old with! But it wasn't just my relationship that I questioned, but also my job, my environment, my appearance, my entire life situation. Had I actually been happy for the last 17 years? Had everything worked out the way I had imagined?

I needed a fresh start

The answer was "no"! For the sake of my relationship, I had given up a lot of things or made allowances, my job was more of a compromise than the ideal situation and my figure left a lot to be desired. I needed a fresh start.

After moving into my new apartment, I went to career counseling, did more sport, had more free time and indulged in everything I had missed or not really lived up to all those years.

Today, at 39, I am the proud owner of a small café. I weigh ten kilos less and am happier than ever before. Nothing better could have happened to me than this break-up, because it meant I had to face all my fears and find myself again."