Christmas should be contemplative. We want to spend a carefree, harmonious time with the family, sit together comfortably, enjoy delicious food, give joyfully and receive presents. So much for the theory. In practice, not everything runs smoothly during the holidays. Different expectations collide - the children's, the grandchildren's, the parents' - as well as our own. These are usually far too high, especially if we have invited the family to our home on Christmas Eve or during the holidays.

Don't put yourself under too much pressure

Of course we're tense - the stress starts long before the festivities: sending greetings, getting presents, agreeing where the presents will be given and what will be on the table, buying the ingredients in good time. In the midst of all this, we attend the company Christmas party, where, as we all know, there are a lot of pitfalls. That keeps you on your toes.

Not everything has to be perfect

Here are a few great tips to help you stay on top of things and feel well prepared. The most important of all is: it's not a bad thing if everything doesn't go perfectly. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself and try to celebrate Christmas for what it is: the celebration of love.

Get some help!

It doesn't have to be a Christmas angel: Alexa, Siri and the Google Assistant will do for a start! According to a representative study commissioned by E.ON, these smart helpers are becoming increasingly popular. After all, the smart voice assistants can quickly help with little things, such as switching the Christmas lights on and off, filtering the best X-Mas songs or announcing the weather for going to church. Don't have an Alexa or Siri yet? Then why not get one now!

Sending greetings

When should I actually send my Christmas mail?

You can start from the first day of Advent. Please note: Business Christmas greetings should reach the recipient ten to 14 days before the festive season, private mail has a few days longer.

Can't I just send a Merry Christmas by text message or e-mail these days?

This is becoming more and more common among young people. But there's nothing like a handwritten card. It's even the only option for professional contacts: (mass) emails seem very impersonal.

Going to church

Is it okay to go to Christmas mass even though I never go to church otherwise?

It's not only okay, it's actually encouraged. Places of worship are always happy to welcome visitors and hope that one or two people will find their way back to church and faith in the midst of such a moving gathering. Whether Christian or non-Christian: everyone is welcome at Christmas.

Do I have to sing along to the service and perform all the rituals?

You don't have to sing along, kneel down or say the "Our Father" if you can't or don't want to. It is only important that you do not disturb others.

Should I make a donation to the collection after the Christmas Mass?

No. You can give more or less depending on how much the purpose of the donation is close to your heart. No one will check or comment on your contribution afterwards.

Being a visitor

How do I tell my parents that we'll be somewhere else on Christmas Eve?

If you've spent it together up to now, don't suddenly break with tradition - you'll offend your parents. Let them know early on if you would like to celebrate differently and offer an alternative - such as a meal together on the second holiday.

Which topics of conversation should I avoid completely?

Pleasant, harmless conversations are a must. Suppress the desire to resolve old family disputes just because everyone is there. Also avoid the topics of politics and religion, as they quickly lead to heated discussions.

When can I leave the family Christmas party?

At the earliest 30 minutes after the last act. If the presents are given before the meal, leave no earlier than half an hour after dessert, otherwise half an hour after the presents have been given. Do you have guests who could leave slowly? Help them out by saying: "I hope you enjoyed tonight?"

Give and receive gifts

Spoilt for choice: how do I choose a suitable gift?

It will probably be a little easier if you imagine what feelings and reactions your gift will evoke. A convinced beer drinker would probably be rather surprised if you presented him with a fine red wine. If you are still unsure, feel free to ask specifically about hobbies or interests. The most important thing is that you give the recipient the feeling that the gift has been chosen especially for them.

What should I do if I don't like the gift? Can I give it to someone else?

Then say thank you anyway and don't let your disappointment show. After all, the other person was thinking of something. Re-gifting is absolutely taboo.

"We're not giving each other anything!" Do I have to stick to this agreement?

It's mainly couples who think they already have everything or who deliberately want to avoid spending. If such an agreement has been made, both partners should stick to it. Suggestion: Give each other the gift of a joint activity instead.

Is it actually acceptable to give money as a gift to celebrate love?

It's not particularly creative, but if the recipient explicitly wants money and it's nicely wrapped, it's okay.

Should I give something to the letter carrier, the dustman and the hairdresser?

At the end of the year, they will definitely appreciate a small gift for their hard-working, loyal service. Depending on how well they know each other, you can give a small gift, such as good chocolate, or you can show your appreciation with a Christmas tip of five to ten euros in an envelope.

Fun fact: According to a recent E.ON survey, most money at Christmas is spent on children. Dads are particularly generous: on average, they spend 200 euros on toys and the like. Germans also like to give presents to their pets. Whether it's a new cat scratching post for Mietzi or a cute cuddly toy for the Labrador. Those who love their pets also give them gifts at Christmas.

Prove table manners

What rules are particularly important at the table during the holidays?

Whether you are with friends or family: Dress festively and praise your host for the successful menu and pretty decorations. Top rule: everyone starts eating together when the host has opened the meal. When toasting, look each other in the eye and place the napkin half-open in your lap. Perfect! Enjoy your meal!

Is it okay if the smartphone is on the table or the TV is on?

No. Togetherness and intimate conversations play a major role in the celebration of love. Cell phones and televisions would only interfere with personal communication. What's more, if you send greetings to friends by text message during the festivities, you are taking them out of their own family celebrations.

At the job Christmas party: beware of putting your foot in it!

According to a survey, three out of ten Germans have gone over the top at Christmas drinks with colleagues. Here's how to cut a better figure:

I'm not a fan of such events. Is my participation actually compulsory?

No, it's not regulated by law, nobody is forcing you. However, it does have a "flavor" if you stay away from the party. Because it looks as if you want to show that you don't value spending some of your free time with your colleagues and boss.

High-waisted trouser suit or party outfit - what's best to wear?

It is extremely important that you dress appropriately, after all you still want to be seen as a serious person to talk to afterwards. The dress code for the Christmas party is usually: smart casual. This means casual business attire.

The boss offered me the first name at the party. How do I deal with this?

Don't address him as "you" the next morning in the office, but wait and see how he addresses you the next day. If he calls you by your first name again, his offer was probably not meant seriously after all. Then get over it.

I'm not good at small talk. What can you talk about and what is better not to talk about?

Talk about harmless, non-critical topics. For example, anything to do with the party: the music, the wine, the restaurant. It's better to avoid political topics - just like any gossip about the company, your colleagues or your boss. By the way: superiors like it when departments mix. It shows openness.

Oh no, I've had one glass of champagne too many and have misbehaved. What should I do?

There is alcohol at every Christmas party. Drinking is allowed, but in moderation. However, if you have looked too deeply into your glass and misbehaved, apologize sincerely in a personal conversation.