The fact that cucumbers and bananas always have to look the same in the supermarket is purely aesthetic and has nothing to do with taste. Envelopes are standardized according to Din, but they are already available in different sizes. That makes sense, as they are designed for different contents. How are we supposed to fit a 20 x 30 poster into an envelope for greetings cards? And now imagine yourself in the DIY store, directly in the screw department. Wood screws, metal screws, large, small and tiny screws, made of steel, brass, copper or plastic. And there are matching plugs to go with them. Nobody would claim that the large screws are better than the small ones. After all, it always depends on which hole they fit into and what they are supposed to hold. Do you understand what I'm getting at?
1. gazelle
2. mare
3. elephant cow
The order is clear, isn't it? And the penis, called lingam there, also comes in three sizes:
1. rabbit
2. bull
3. stallion
The order is probably even clearer here. Especially for those who don't know how big a gazelle is compared to a mare. It is therefore clear that a stallion lamb is difficult to fit into a gazelle yoni. And a hare lingam might feel a little lost in an elephant cow yoni. Now I don't want to go so far as to say that men should choose their sweetheart according to her yoni size. Other characteristics should be important for the right partner. But if a man is unlucky or lucky, depending on your point of view, to have a particularly large or small lingam and his partner's yoni is not a perfect fit, there are a few things he should bear in mind.
Here's how to do it if the penis is rather large and/or thick
"Deeper, deeper"! Who doesn't like to hear that? But not all women are happy when someone actually thrusts into them as deeply as possible. Especially not if they are rather small themselves. This can be uncomfortable or even painful. The same applies to particularly wide specimens. So be careful here, in all positions: Take it slowly! Don't penetrate right away, but wait in between and pay attention to your lover's reaction. Is she really aroused and therefore wet enough? Be lavish with lubricant. The better it goes, the more fun it will be for both of you.
Slow sex is the keyword. You may have already heard of it. Instead of fast, hard thrusts, consciously perceive touch, penetration and movement. Intimacy instead of competitive sport. Diana Richardson has created her own sexual style from this. There is a book of the same name and a DVD. Perhaps you would like to take a closer look?
These positions both hold back a little:
- First up is the riding position, where the woman sits on top. This allows her to control how deep the penis should penetrate. And if it goes really deep, it's because she wants it that way. The man doesn't need to worry about that. He can just lie there and enjoy.
- Secondly, we have the spooning position, in which the man lies on his side behind his lover. The penis can't penetrate as deeply here.
- And then there's the monkey. The man lies on his back and pulls his knees up. The lover can now sit backwards on him and lean against his feet. And again she has control over how deep he can penetrate. Yes, it's a bit acrobatic. Take it with a sense of humor if it doesn't work right away ;-)
Please be careful with anal sex! The anus is a muscle that needs to be stretched carefully. If you penetrate too quickly with a penis that is too big and possibly without lubricant, the muscle can tear. And even if it remains intact, it can easily become an ordeal for the woman. So, be careful, loosen and stretch enough, use plenty of lubricant and penetrate slowly. Otherwise, you can kiss this fun goodbye for a long time.
You can pay attention to this if the penis is rather small and/or thin
You should know that a woman's most sensitive area is at the entrance to the vagina. And men can reach this area even with very short ones. This is where the so-called orgasmic cuff is located. When your lover is aroused, the outer third of the vagina swells so much that the diameter of the vaginal entrance is halved. This means that the partner should also be really excited before he even penetrates her. Instead of the usual in-and-out motion, he can make circular, stirring movements with the penis. This massages the sensitive vaginal entrance and creates more points of contact.
If women say they don't feel anything, it's probably because they're not aroused and simply don't feel like it. And if they are not aroused, this wonderful erogenous zone does not come to life. So they also feel much less. Perhaps they had a different expectation, perhaps he was simply too hasty. But a man shouldn't let that impress him. After all, he has plenty of opportunities to show what a great lover he is! And then penis size really isn't the deciding factor.
Positions where you can penetrate deeper are suitable for smaller ones:
- There is also a riding position here. In the Kamasutra, this is called the proud queen. The man lies on his back and the woman sits on him with her face towards his feet. The man can hold on to her thighs and pull her firmly onto his penis.
- In the doggy position, he kneels behind his partner and can penetrate her particularly deeply this way.
- In the Big Mountain position, the woman does not rest on her upper arms, but on a mountain of pillows in front of her. This is a little more comfortable. Or you can do it in the kitchen or dining room and she lies down with her upper body on the seat of a chair.
- How about the butterfly? You don't need a bed for this, but a sturdy table. He stands in front of the table, his sweetheart lies down on the edge of the table with her pelvis on the table and puts her legs over his shoulder. He also has a wonderful view at the same time! She probably has to lift the basin a little. If that's too strenuous, simply place another cushion underneath. Or two.
- And what about anal sex? Wonderful with a thin penis ;-)
Anja Drews - qualified sex educator for ORION