Sex has never been better, say many older women among us. The reasons: Lots of experience, you know what you want, you're more relaxed and you usually have more self-confidence when it comes to love and sexuality than when you were younger. Although hormones (or rather the lack of them) sometimes get in the way, there is now a lot of medical help available and at least you no longer have to worry about contraception. This is a huge relief for us women.
According to a US study, 42 percent of 60 to 69-year-old women have vaginal intercourse and one in five women over the age of 70. Various other sex practices also remain. Nevertheless, sex in old age is still a taboo subject. Young people in particular - who are particularly strict when it comes to judging attractiveness anyway - are somehow reluctant to think about sexuality in old age. So what really goes on in the beds of older women? How often do they still have sex - daily, every few weeks or perhaps not at all? Some men and women were prepared to speak plainly and anonymously.
Jochen (73): "My wife satisfies me by hand"
"My wife and I have been married for ages, we've even celebrated our golden wedding anniversary. But she hasn't felt like having sex for many years. I respect that, but I'm not really happy about it either. We've talked about it a few times: she just doesn't want to anymore. There was silence on the subject for a while. Then she said she'd thought about it. When we were relaxing in bed, she became very affectionate and satisfied me with her hand. I can't say whether she's 100 percent comfortable with it, but she does it now and again. We understand each other without many words and I know that my needs are also close to her heart."
Carmen (61): "We now arrange to have sex"
"My girlfriends used to say 'it'll be fine' or 'you just have to be in the right mood' - but the fact is that our sex life is practically irrelevant because there doesn't seem to be a right moment anymore. Even on vacation, nothing happens! Of course, we don't need or want sex all the time, but somehow it has completely fallen asleep. I realize that we both want it, but somehow we don't get together anymore. It's as if there's a barrier to approaching the other person. In fact, I also feel strange grabbing my husband's penis to show him that I want to have sex with him. I then read in a guidebook that you should make a date for sex. This is supposed to make it easier to approach each other again. And it's true! I just put the article down for my husband and he got the message. At first, we were almost awkward and excited like teenagers. We each got ourselves ready - and that made us feel like we were on a date again. Everything else then came naturally! We now arrange to have sex regularly and want to keep the 'appointment'. Sex with my husband is wonderful - now I realize how much I've missed him!"
Renate (59): "I gave him a blowjob"
"It's funny, I thought I was done with that kind of thing! I don't really feel like having sex anymore - but then it happened and I gave my partner a blowjob! I found little porn magazines at my husband's house, at first I was shocked because I thought that we/he didn't need that kind of thing - and I quickly closed them again. I couldn't and didn't want to imagine my husband satisfying himself. I dwelled on these thoughts for a few days and at some point I thought: he's not wrong because we're not particularly sexually active. I thought that, like me, he no longer had such a great need for sex. I was torn between the two. Then I took a closer look at the magazines and realized that they also aroused me to a certain extent. When my husband and I went to bed in the evening after showering as usual, I took the initiative and gave him a blow job. He was so surprised that I was so offensive and completely confused at first. In the end, he let me do it. A bad thought settled in my mind: What if it's not about masturbation at all, but he's looking for his satisfaction elsewhere? I wanted to avoid that and thought: Fine, then I'll do him the favor. My lust came with his lust, because he touched me more intensely than I'd felt for a long time. We talked about it later and we want to freshen up our sex life again. I don't want to lose him!"
Eva-Maria (63): "The first time we had sex on the toilet"
"Of course, my friends' daughters told me that they had sex in the toilet at the bar or disco. I always thought to myself, my God, what stress - but young people are just impetuous. Now it's actually happened to me. With my new partner. I never thought I could enjoy sex so much again. And when the opportunity arose, we just did it. I don't have to have it all the time, I'm not that flexible anymore. But you're never too old for a bit of excitement and variety."
Mariele (73): "I don't think quickies are so bad"
"Let's put it this way: it takes a lot longer than it used to. We've tried a lot of things, some gels and tinctures. But even in a relationship, you have to admit that you're getting older. My husband takes Viagra from time to time. It's a good thing, it works. But you know exactly when it's going to start in half an hour. That's sex on a schedule."
Annemarie (67): "I don't let anyone into my bed anymore"
"I have dents, ripples and everything is sagging. That's not nice. I don't want to show myself like this, especially not in front of a man. I've been registered on a dating platform since my ex left me. I'm a crisp 52, sporty and slim. I never go on a date. But flirting is fun. If only they all knew ..."
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Hans-Peter (75): "Sex has a different quality today"
"The older you get, the more intimacy becomes the focus of a relationship. It gives me a lot to know that I can absolutely rely on my wife, that we will go through the last years together. Sex is no longer as important as it used to be. Even if I still like doing it. Maybe once a month we still sleep together. Exciting is different, but it makes me feel good as a man."
Hannelore (69): " I would never have dared to go to sex stores in the past. But now there's the internet"
"Now I've had to get so old to discover what a sex store has to offer. I've always wanted to buy a vibrator. So I looked online - together with my husband, by the way. He chose something too: Handcuffs. All right. Since then, we've been popping in and ordering more often. But for some things I can clearly say: it's not for me. For example, I wouldn't buy any dominatrix stuff. That would make me feel ridiculous. Old woman in patent leather boots ... how embarrassing."
Franz (72): " Honey, I've got my back. Did we laugh!"
"The other day we were just getting down to business when my sciatica slowed me down. I could hardly move and fell on Betty. I was embarrassed at first. But then we were in tears laughing. It just happens sometimes. What the hell."
Margot (71): "Our dates are little escapes from reality"
"I feel too young to give up sex in a relationship. My husband can't do it anymore. Three years ago, a man flirted with me at a party. He said he liked sex with older women. We have it now from time to time. It's never going to happen again, and that's okay."
"Birgit (65): Sex toys give your love life a new lease of life!"
"My husband and I have been using sex toys to spice up our love life for a few years now. It takes the pressure off my partner when he doesn't have an erection and he knows that a vibrator is at hand to guarantee me an orgasm. So sex toys can be a real enrichment for sex."
"Manfred (50): I enjoy sex with older women"
"Since I got divorced, I've discovered sex with older women for myself. A much older woman wrote to me via a dating portal. I had nothing to lose and arranged to meet her. She had no inhibitions and we were both able to let ourselves go. Since that sex experience, I only date women over 60 and the sex has always been better than with women my age."
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