What characterizes a self-confident person?

People with a high level of self-confidence are perceived by those around them as successful and self-determined. They are typical leaders. This applies to both their private and professional lives. Self-confidence is a collective term for several characteristics that a person combines. These include:

• Being able to state your own wishes and assert them.
• The ability to say no and enforce a no.
• Being able to accept criticism, praise and compliments and implement them positively.
• Being someone who expresses their own opinion and is open to criticism.
• Being able to recognize and accept your own mistakes without feeling weak as a result.

Less self-confident people, on the other hand, are often controlled by others, as they quickly subordinate themselves to the wishes of others and neglect their own needs. Sooner or later, this leads to dissatisfaction. No wonder - after all, everyone wants to shape their life according to their own wishes and not according to other people's ideas.

Where does a lack of self-confidence come from?

In many cases, the reasons for a lack of self-confidence lie in childhood. Children who are not trusted to do anything, who are excessively criticized for mistakes or who have all their tasks taken away from them often develop a lower level of self-confidence. In contrast, children who were praised a lot and who were number one at home go through life with broad shoulders. But formative experiences such as bullying, accidents, excessive demands or prolonged illness can also reduce self-esteem. So self-confidence is not something you are born with, rather it is developed through external circumstances. The good news is that people with low self-esteem do not have to accept this state of affairs, but can work continuously to improve their self-confidence and build it up step by step.

"As of today, I have more self-confidence!"

You are moving in the right direction - but of course it won't happen that quickly. Your brain must first be switched from submissive behavior to more self-confidence. Because the brain is a creature of habit. Habits are practically our survival strategy so that we can function in the face of danger. Reversing learned behavior patterns therefore takes time and doesn't work overnight. And how do you do that? With patience, the right goals and continuous training! In this way, you can do a lot to improve your self-confidence. Whether you end up bursting with self-confidence or playing in midfield is of course also a matter of type. The important thing is to keep at it and celebrate your successes: it doesn't matter whether it's small progress that you notice yourself or those around you: consciously experience positive changes and give your brain important and lasting signals for the new you.

This is how you train yourself to be more self-confident, both physically and mentally:

• Pay attention to good body language and stand up straight. Standing tall and keeping your shoulders straight makes you look confident. This changes the way people react to you. Good posture also improves your breathing and makes you feel better.
• Consciously say no. This can initially be practised with easier announcements: "No, I can't answer the phone at lunchtime today because I have a doctor's appointment." If you can't or don't want to turn down tasks at work or from your family straight away, ask for time to think about it. This will prevent you from agreeing to everything prematurely and getting annoyed afterwards.
• Say something nice to yourself regularly, for example when something has gone well. Or if you looked particularly pretty in your new dress.
• Keep a record of things that have gone well. This is particularly helpful if you are one of those people who remember negative rather than positive events and therefore always have self-doubt.
• Keep a list of the qualities you like about yourself, the ones you want to change and the ones you can accept.
• It sounds banal, but: always think positively!
• Smile. This will also make your brain happy and you will also look happier. Satisfaction is also important for more self-confidence.
• Avoid people who are not good for you. If you feel stronger, you can face them again and stand up to them if necessary.
• Exercise and make sure you eat a healthy diet. A healthy lifestyle will help you to feel good and have a more self-confident effect on those around you.
• Get professional help if you can't cope on your own. A psychologist will delve deeper and uncover hidden causes for a lack of self-esteem. This can then be worked on together.