It will get better at some point - teenage parents should never give up this hope. Until then, it's important to keep calm, because a rebellious teenager is only so understanding. That means setting rules.
Are you allowed to wear make-up to school at the age of 12?
That's for the parents to decide. Experts recommend: Mothers should guide the first experiments with make-up, e.g. buying lip gloss, mascara or nail polish with their offspring. The products should not contain nickel or parabens, which can trigger allergies. Make compromises: for school it should be subtle, at a party with friends a little more. Look at it this way: practising make-up together is a very special mother-daughter moment.
A tattoo at 13? Your offspring can completely forget it!
Tattoos and piercings are prohibited by law under the age of 16. Both are considered willful bodily harm, even if the parents agree. Tattoo artists therefore now not only require a written declaration of consent from parents for 16-year-olds, but often even the presence of a parent during the session. If the studio does not adhere to these rules, they can be sued for damages. So the issue is over until 18 - then no veto will help.
Are 13-year-olds allowed to go to the disco and party until they drop?
Normally, kids under the age of 16 are only allowed to go to a disco when accompanied by an adult. Exception: parties in youth centers, where everyone is allowed to party until 10 pm. In the disco you have to go home at midnight even if you are 16.
Smoking at 14? Parents must give clear instructions
Youth protection laws prohibit non-adult smokers from smoking in public. But kids don't get punished for it. You can't get anyone off cigarettes with bans, only persuasion will help.
When are kids officially allowed to have sex?
The legal "age of consent" is 14, so sex under 14 is forbidden. As long as kids of the same age "do it" anyway, there are no consequences. But there are if one of them is older or even of legal age. Then there is the threat of criminal charges.
Is the pill a matter of course at 14?
When a girl is given the pill is essentially the doctor's decision. It will depend on her "psychological maturity". It is also at the doctor's discretion whether to inform the parents.
A sensitive issue - when are young adults allowed to drink?
Under 14, the consumption of alcohol is prohibited under the Youth Protection Act. From the age of 14, kids accompanied by their parents are allowed to taste alcoholic drinks at family celebrations, for example. From the age of 16, you can buy drinks with a lower alcohol content yourself. For high-proof drinks, this is only permitted from the age of 18.
When can a child start earning extra money with a job?
Light jobs such as delivering newspapers, babysitting or walking dogs are only permitted from the age of 13. However, for a maximum of two hours a day and only after school. Kids aged 15 and over are allowed to work up to eight hours a day, but only on weekdays between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m.
Do I absolutely have to buy my child a smartphone?
No. But the right cell phone is a status symbol, a means of self-expression and the most important means of communication. That's why your child "must" have one. However, they are not entitled to it.
Can I ban my child from getting a driver's license at 17?
Not without a valid reason. There is even a ruling on this: judges at Hanover Local Court found that the driving license is in the child's best interests (Ref.: 609 F 2941/13)
You can also find important information on the topic of "youth protection" in the new youth protection guide from the Association for Citizen-oriented Traffic Policy.
Puberty: 10 golden rules for parents
- Accept that your child now wants to go their own way more often and increasingly withdraws or prefers the company of their friends to their family.
- Show your children what you believe in and what is important to you.
- Be there when your child needs help. Refrain from saying things like: "I told you that straight away."
- Stay consistent! But also show a willingness to negotiate. And: Agreements apply to both sides.
- Face up to conflicts.
- Stay in contact, signal your willingness to talk. And always offer to do something together.
- Gradually give your child more and more responsibility, including when it comes to money.
- Try to accept your child's clique as much as possible.
- Take every opportunity to talk about everything that concerns your child.
- Stay calm.