The "real" BDSMers smile at what well-behaved couples have been doing to each other with the help of blindfolds and scarves during lovemaking ever since. This is because BDSM practices range from playful bondage, biting, spanking and blindfolding to painful punishments, total restriction of mobility and psychological humiliation - more here and in the ORION fetish blog.

In the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10), this preference still falls under the heading of sexual preference disorders. But is it even possible to speak of a disorder when it is so widespread? On the contrary, according to a study by Nyenrode University, it appears that people with this preference are mentally healthier than others. More on this below.

The disease "sadomasochism"

First of all, the question of what exactly a sexual preference disorder means: This is understood to be the sexual urge for an unusual sexual object or unusual sexual stimulation, such as fetishism, transvestitism, voyeurism, but also paedophilia.

And sexual sadomasochism. ICD-10 provides the following explanation under F65.5: "Sexual activities involving the infliction of pain, humiliation or restraint are preferred. If the person suffers this type of stimulation, it is masochism; if they inflict it on someone else, it is sadism. Often the person experiences sexual arousal in both masochistic and sadistic activities. "* Hmm, eight million people with a preference disorder? Or eight million people who are completely normal if we just change the definition?

Sadomasochism is also not an invention of our time. We only have to look at the cruelty in the old paintings and illustrations of the late Middle Ages. Nobody can tell me that the viewer wasn't already interested in the pleasure of pain back then. Incidentally, these images can still be found in BDSM literature today.

An early cataloguing that is still in people's minds today

What still constitutes "unusual sexual stimulation" today? In the early days of sexology at the end of the 19th century, the German psychiatrist von Krafft-Ebing cataloged all sexual practices that were considered deviant and perverse at the time. And in the prudish era of the middle classes, this included pretty much everything apart from the marital missionary position. Some of the practices have been rehabilitated today - such as masturbation and homosexuality - but others are still a long way off - such as sadomasochism.

There have long been calls for the clinical pictures of sadism and masochism to be removed from the ICD-10. Today, it is generally assumed that a disorder is only a disorder if the person affected has a problem with it or hurts others with his or her actions. But the stigma of classification remains and often leads to a problem arising in the first place. "It says there that my actions are sick. Then I must be too" is one such belief.

Everything completely normal? Everything is completely normal!

In 2013, a study by Nyenrode University in the Netherlands was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. 1336 people with and without BDSM tendencies were asked about their character traits, their general well-being, how they deal with rejection and their relationship behavior.

The result: contrary to previous opinion, BDSM devotees are mentally healthier than flower sex devotees. They are "less neurotic, more open, react more sensitively to rejection and have more stable relationships "*. Yay, finally land in sight? The desire for power and submission is often associated with traumatic experiences. This may well be a trigger, but it also applies to many other people.

One explanation for this unexpected result could actually be that BDSMers are more open about their sexual desires. They communicate about it and live it out in one way or another. That is more than many others can claim. The constant failure to express what you want leads to sexual frustration and inner bending in the long term. And sometimes also to violent discharges. Ultimately, it would be nice if this study led to the deletion of F65.5 from the ICD-10. But perhaps it is precisely the allure of the seemingly forbidden that makes playing with power and powerlessness so appealing.

Anja Drews - qualified sex educator for ORION