Recognizing the first warning signs in good time
How a person deals with a crisis depends on their gender, personality and the way they usually react to problems. Some people withdraw completely and can no longer enjoy anything. Others react irritably or aggressively to many things. Still others drink alcohol excessively and develop an addiction problem. If a person is behaving very differently than usual, you as a friend or relative should take action.
First listen, then look for solutions
Don't start suggesting solutions to the other person straight away. It is important to let them tell you everything that is on their mind first. That alone can help a lot. Then you can look for solutions together in peace.
Giving comfort also means talking to them and giving them lots of encouragement
Remind the person of crises that they have already overcome. They will draw strength from this and remember what helped them at the time. Also draw their attention to the good things in life, i.e. all the things that are currently working well.
Distract the person as best you can
You can also comfort them by doing something together. Something they used to enjoy. Even if they probably can't feel much joy now, at least it's a distraction. If your friend or relative has been left by their partner, you can suggest redecorating their home, for example. Encourage the other person to exercise in general. Sport can also provide comfort and is a good anti-depressant.
Don't misunderstand the signals
Many people take it personally when the other person is irritable. Realize that you have nothing to do with their mood. Also, don't be offended if they don't accept your suggested solutions.
Set personal boundaries for yourself
There is no point in giving up on yourself just to help the other person. Set clear boundaries: If you notice that he is clinging on and taking too much control of you, make it clear: unfortunately, I can no longer help you.
Get an expert on board
Sometimes giving comfort is simply not enough. Then it is advisable to seek professional help, for example from a psychotherapist, GP or a self-help group.
It's best to let actions speak for themselves
When someone is in a serious crisis, they usually find it difficult to ask for help. Sometimes they don't even know how to get help. That's why it's usually useless to just call and offer your help. It's better to simply drive past and give the person a hug - or invite them out for a drink in town.
Know when there is nothing more you can do
If the person close to you refuses contact several times and clearly signals that they would rather deal with the problem on their own, you should accept this - and leave them alone. However, if there are signs that they are planning to commit suicide, you should definitely inform the family doctor or a relative.
A project to combat loneliness
Finally going to the movies again, chatting with young people or simply celebrating Christmas with a family again - wishes that older single and lonely people in particular have. In the "Tante Inge" tandem project sponsored by the German Television Lottery, these wishes are fulfilled and they are given comfort. Berlin founders Kerstin Müller and Anne Brauer bring young and old people together with their initiative. They organize neighbourly help between generations and take senior citizens out of the anonymity of big cities. And younger people also benefit from this, as the tandem couple Anne-Marie and Anna show: When Anna became a mom, the older Anne-Marie diligently knitted pretty things for Anna's baby. You can find out more about this Deutsche Fernsehlotterie project and other great initiatives at www.du-bist-ein-gewinn.de