Etiquette rules in private life
Whether in your love life or in public, there are situations in which it is easy to misbehave. We may do some things quite automatically because they seem natural to us - but they are actually absolute no-goes. But even here we have to follow a few rules of conduct, as expert and etiquette trainer Betül Hanisch, 38, knows (www.knigge-schule.de).
Manners as host and guest
Can I say to my guests: "Please take off your shoes"?
Yes, but explain why, like this: "Our child is still crawling." also offer your guests slippers - but they must be as good as new.
What do I give a stranger?
Wine, parlins, flowers are suitable gifts according to etiquette rules. No potted plants - they make work. No lilies either, especially not for older people, because flowers are associated with death. And: no cactus. It says: "I don't like you!" Have you been given something useless? The rules of conduct allow you to return it, but only if you are close to the person and they have said beforehand: "If you don't like it, we can exchange it."
Can I send birthday invitations via Facebook?
Yes, this is a common medium these days. People who are rarely active on Facebook should call you again to be on the safe side.
Rules of conduct in private life
Can I read my partner's letters from time to time?
The rules of conduct only allow it if he or she expressly requests it, for example because he or she is traveling. Otherwise, this is a breach of trust - in addition, the secrecy of correspondence applies. The cell phone is also part of privacy. Snooping through text messages? You should never do that.
Do I really have to put the napkin on my lap according to the etiquette rules?
Absolutely, because this is not a dusty etiquette rule at all. In fact, it's rude to ignore it. Incidentally, we don't wipe our mouths, but dab around them - and never use the napkin as a handkerchief.
Can I put my cell phone on the table in a restaurant?
Good manners also include giving your counterpart your undivided attention. Personal items have no place on the table. Looking at them sends a signal to the other person: You're boring. And: The person who could call me is more important to me than you.
Can I use the phone on the bus?
Really only if necessary. It's been proven that you can't switch off when someone next to you is on the phone. We always mentally try to complete the other side of the conversation. So be considerate and wait until you get off the phone.
Can I cancel a date quickly by text message?
If the other person has also invited me by text message, yes. However, a phone call shows more appreciation. Canceling at short notice is of course always rude. You should then explain why the rejection came so late.
Etiquette rules at work
Nowhere does decency count as much as at work. Sure, you must always treat your customers kindly, but also your colleagues - and especially your boss. If you make a good impression, you have better career prospects. And you'll also make lots of friends, says expert and career consultant Anke Quittschau, 48 (www.korrekt.de).
Business etiquette at work
If my boss calls me by my first name, can I automatically do the same?
No, it's better to stubbornly keep on saying it. According to office etiquette, your boss must explicitly offer you the first name as a superior. If he has done this late at night at a company party, it is better to consciously address him again the next morning and wait to see how he reacts.
I get into trouble because of a colleague's mistake. What do I say?
Mistakes can happen to anyone. Think about it: How would I want someone to behave in this situation? If it's the colleague's first faux pas, be calm and say nothing. However, if the mistakes keep happening, seek a one-to-one conversation with your boss.
A little e-mail etiquette
Can I send funny smileys in e-mails?
Only to colleagues. Business e-mails should be written in the same way as a letter.
Can I make private calls on the landline in the office?
That depends on the company. Some employers expressly allow private calls from the company telephone, others do not. Always keep your private calls short. That way you won't disturb your colleagues.
According to business etiquette, can I take a break at my desk and have lunch?
If you have customer contact at your desk, this is an absolute no-go. In general, you shouldn't eat anything in the office that smells strong - it's very unpleasant for your colleagues. Fruit and sweets are okay, however.
Etiquette with the boss
What do I say when I meet my boss in the elevator?
Most people just want to get out again. But a greeting and a sentence is the least you can do and is part of good manners. Maintain eye contact, smile and don't lower your head or stare at the display panel. Start with something like: "Hello, Mr. Müller. How was your vacation?" or "That was a heavy thunderstorm last night ..."
Who greets whom first?
In a professional environment, the lower-ranking person greets you verbally first. However, the higher-ranking person shakes hands. So if you meet your boss in the hallway, it's "Good morning, Mr. Huber." And if Mr. Huber is in the mood for a chat, he will shake your hand first.
Can I turn down a Facebook request from my boss?
In principle, yes, but you should give reasons. Explain to your boss that you keep your private and professional lives strictly separate and only use Facebook privately. Instead, offer to network via the business network XING, for example.
How do I react if my boss shouts at me in a choleric manner?
Don't be intimidated - stay calm and polite. If your boss has let off steam, he will probably be embarrassed by his behavior. Never run out of the room offended and with the door slamming, this will only provoke the boss even more. Being assertive will earn you respect.
Can I put my feet up on the table when I'm alone?
Imagine someone comes into the office unexpectedly. What will they think? Are they perhaps even on the phone with customers and business partners in this position, or are they even taking a nap? Incidentally, this is a gesture that men like to make to take up space and demonstrate power. You don't need to do that.