Pupils are taught early on at school that condoms are the only effective protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Pupils learn how to put them on wooden dildos or bananas, sometimes long before the first serious case. It used to be different. My first contact was at a school friend's birthday party. I was maybe twelve at the time and had no idea about sucking and blowing. Condoms taken from the vending machine in a public men's toilet were turned into water bombs and caused great, but also somewhat embarrassed, laughter. I didn't really know what purpose they actually served. And I don't think the others really knew either. Fortunately, things are a little different today. Funny TV commercials and the BzgA's Mach's mit posters have made a significant contribution to making condoms socially acceptable and lowering the inhibition threshold for buying and using them. But although it all seems simple, there are still plenty of pitfalls on the way to safe sex.
The first hurdle: The purchase
In order to use a condom, you have to have one in the first place. You can buy them in many different places: drugstores, pharmacies, supermarkets, sex stores or online. For the seasoned lovers among us, it is no problem to join the queue at the checkout with the visible announcement of sex. However, the shyer among us or even beginners often see things a little differently. And that can be the first hurdle they fail to overcome. I've just noticed that I've often stared lost in thought at the goods on the conveyor belt in front of me - but I've never seen condoms in between. A supermarket is perhaps not the first port of call when it comes to such personal purchases. Pharmacies or anonymous mail order via the Internet are more suitable.
One, two, three - which type do I want?
Which condom should it be anyway? In color, flavor, wet or dry, with nubs or glow-in-the-dark - it's up to you. The main thing is that the condom has the CE seal of approval and is still within its expiration date. There are wafer-thin condoms and thicker ones that are particularly suitable for anal sex. Condoms coated on the inside with lidocaine or benzocaine are said to reduce the sensitivity of the glans and thus help men who suffer from premature ejaculation. So, before you buy, pause for a moment and think about what exactly you want.
Less is sometimes more
The right size is absolutely essential. If a condom is too small, it can tear. If it is too big (and men tend to exaggerate), it can slip off. Since penises vary greatly from wearer to wearer, condoms also come in different sizes and shapes. The circumference is more important than the length, but both are still important. So hand over the measuring tape and off you go. When erect, measure the length from the base of the penis to the glans and the circumference at the thickest point. The website liebesleben.de has an online condometer that you can use to easily find out which size fits - click here.
Be careful with storage!
So, we've finally found and bought the right condom. Now it should be to hand at the right moment. Your wallet or trouser pocket seem like good places to keep it. But they are not. This is because the material can become porous due to friction, pressure and heat and tear during use. Condoms are better kept in small boxes or tins. Be careful on vacation: temperatures above 30 degrees are also bad for the material!
Be brave and take responsibility
It's getting down to business, the moment of bliss is approaching. But how do I tell him that I have a condom with me? Does he think I'm easy if I take precautions? Does she think I only want the one thing? These are thoughts that don't bother experienced lovers or those who have been in relationships for a long time. But they are thoughts that can prevent young people in particular from taking care of themselves and protecting themselves out of shame, especially if they already have other forms of contraception. But condoms also protect against STIs and these are really not to be trifled with. So, be brave: take out a condom, hold it in front of your nose, put it on the bedside table and talk about it if necessary. A condom can also be included in lovemaking. Have you ever thought about putting it on with your lips? Or immediately following up with a little hand job? Or making a big show of it? Abracadabra! Humor never hurts and lightens up many an awkward mood.
Know how
Condom packets should be torn open on the jagged side and carefully pulled out of the wrapper. Scissors are taboo and sharp or torn nails can damage the material. So be careful. The small reservoir at the top of the condom is intended to collect the sperm later. To ensure there is enough space for this, it must be pressed together with two fingers when putting it on. The condom is then placed on the glans and carefully unrolled over the penis. If the condom cannot be unrolled, it is probably on the wrong side. However, as the first drops of sperm may already be on the glans before sex, it must not simply be turned inside out. If this happens, you will definitely need a new one! Latex condoms must not be used with lubricants containing oil or grease, as this also makes the material porous. One last tip: When pulling the penis out of the vagina or anus, the condom should be held firmly so that it doesn't accidentally slip off or get stuck. And if you want to have sex again, you will of course need a new condom!
Anja Drews - sexologist for ORION