Oh no. His brain immediately switches on and his erection switches off. Wild sex in the middle of these hairy observers? Can a woman who comes across as so hot really have an army of cuddly toys in her bed? Even if it was just a single tiger duck, it would irritate him. What does that mean? Could it be that somewhere inside this incredibly gorgeous woman is hiding a little girl with a special need for cuddles and tenderness? But even if so, what would be so bad about that? Don't sex and c uddling go together?

Are tool belts a sign of masculinity?

Cuddly toys in bed, yet another controversial topic. What is completely normal for some, makes others doubt. Incidentally, it could have been the other way round in this little story. After all, there are also men who indulge in this passion. However, the ratio is probably anything but balanced. After all, men want/are supposed to be masculine and cuddly toys don't really fit in with that. According to the cliché, men would actually need a tool belt to drape around their pillow. Also a nice idea ☺

Stuffed animals can simply be memory anchors

Although I have to admit that I also have a teddy bear. He's only two years younger than me, so he's very old for a teddy bear, and was a loyal companion to me in my earliest youth. Tar marks on his left foot indicate that I actually carried him around with me everywhere. Over the last four decades, it has rarely seen the light of day. Its habitat is at the very back of my closet, where it is condemned to a life of eternal darkness. But again, I can't throw it away. It's this little piece of memory that saves his life.

Emotional support in times of crisis

So what's the deal with the stuffed animals? Do these people have attachment issues? Are they perhaps emotionally immature? We could actually come up with these thoughts. After all, stuffed animals are not an issue with children, they are part of their lives. Children are not yet adults and are completely mature in their ego. But with adults? So far, this question has only been dealt with in relation to psychiatric patients. And here there does indeed seem to be a connection between stuffed animal love and personality disorder. But to be honest, anyone who has to stay in a hospital for a long time is probably dependent on any emotional support. And be it teddy bears.

The Scots on teddy bear research

But what about the "normal" population? No one had ever looked here before. So Scottish scientists led by psychologist Stuart Brody set out in search of findings on the teddy bear issue and surveyed 148 students. Two thirds of those surveyed confessed to owning such a friend. Of course, more women than men. Eckart von Hirschhausen's assumption that women simply don't want to throw away the soft toys they have won for themselves seems plausible to me. It's amazing, by the way, that men feel superior to stuffed animals but are proud as punch when they win one at a shooting competition.

Always remain critical

Stuart Brody's team found no correlation between stuffed animal owners and immature behavior, conscientiousness or a lack of self-regulation. So one thing seems clear: cuddly toy owners are in full possession of their mental and emotional powers. Away with kitchen psychology. But please take a critical view. Because Stuart Brody is also the scientist who claims that vaginal orgasms are better than all others. Women who have them are psychologically more mature and healthier. Thank you very much. That takes men out of the problem situation. In case of doubt, it couldn't be down to them. But that's another topic.

Teddy bears don't mean the end of hot nights of love

Be that as it may, whether teddy bear love is a sign of emotional maturity or not, we need to consider how we deal with these silent bedfellows. To stay with our example above, would it be a problem for them to banish them from the bed as soon as he enters the arena? Or could he come to terms with the fact that they have spectators? Could he ask her or could she explain to him what significance the little animals have for her? Perhaps she has simply never thought about why she still shares her bed with stuffed animals. Perhaps she actually has a greater or unsatisfied need for more tenderness. And don't we all have our little loveable quirks?

But sex is not just about fucking. Sex is not just serious and overwhelming. Sex is also an intimate contact with the other person. We enter into this contact with each other through sex. We bring our whole personality, our idiosyncrasies, desires, needs, likes and dislikes into this contact. Sex is also a game that requires a good dose of humor. And stuffed animals can be wonderful players.

Anja Drews - qualified sex educator for ORION

Source: Dr. Eckart von Hirschhausen: A bear is a bear. Brain & Mind, Dossier 2/2017, p. 98. and link.springer.com