1. the sophistication of technical developments

Fifty years ago, no one could have imagined that we would be communicating via computers today. Certainly no one could have imagined that we would use computers to live out our sexuality. In the meantime, this technology has become a matter of course.

1. we look for partners via singles portals,
2. send love messages by email and erotic photos via WhatsApp,
3. strip via Skype,
4. shoot our own erotic movies with our smartphones,
5. watch others having solo sex via live streams,
6. find pictures and films on the Internet of every sexual practice, no matter how absurd it may seem.

Unimaginable fifty years ago and in all previous times. Technology has revolutionized our sexuality from the ground up. Across all population groups, regardless of age, gender or ethnicity. Where is this technological path leading us? Loneliness in front of the computer? Erotic worlds through virtual reality porn? Sex with robots? Dominas who can simultaneously serve hundreds of followers through cybersex? Orgasms through remote-controlled sex toys? Algorithmically selected partnerships? All of this will happen and some of it already exists today.

2 The rediscovery of mindfulness

Parallel to the developments in erotic technology, there is also a trend in the opposite direction. Sexologists such as Volkmar Sigusch have long regretted that there is no longer any ars erotica in our western world. We can't even develop erotic art if we are so strongly conditioned to consumption and performance. Perfectionism versus intimacy. Sooner or later, sex is always reduced to penis size, intercourse and orgasm. The quicker the better. The great role model is, of course, sex in the world of porn.

But what about everything that sends us into true ecstasy? What about spirituality and spiritual closeness? What about sexual self-realization? Consumption isn't everything, as we quickly realize when we are emotionally and erotically bored. And so many people feel the need to be closer to themselves again. It's not for nothing that studios for yoga, mindfulness training and tantra are springing up everywhere. Feeling yourself, perceiving your feelings, being in and with others. Books such as Sex and Mindfulness, Slow Sex or Soul Sex can help you explore your own desires and possibilities. Away from letting yourself be pampered and towards being more mindful of your own needs.

3. monogamy, polyamory, soloamory?

With all the progressive advertising from the big dating agencies, I was almost afraid that there would soon be no place for singles in our society. But thank goodness they are not a dying population group. Soloamory, love with oneself, will remain one of many options. If you are looking for this term now: You won't find it. Because it doesn't exist. That's a shame, because we only ever talk about polyamory or monogamy. As if a relationship is the only legitimate way to spend your life.

But there are people who like to live alone. And there are very many people who live in serial soloamory, i.e. who are always single. This should be just as respected as any other status. Nevertheless, we are given the impression that we only need to optimize our search for love and then the relationship will work out. The algorithm mentioned above seems to know us better than we know ourselves.

Yet our society is more open than ever to diverse forms of relationships. We can stay single, we can look for one partner or several. In Germany, however, homosexual marriage is not even legally equivalent to heterosexual marriage. Here you are only allowed to have a partner. I'm curious to see what happens next. There are already calls for polyamorous relationships to be allowed to marry on an equal footing.

4. a lot of sex or none at all?

Women who didn't want sex in the past were derogatorily referred to as frigid. At a time when they were only socially accepted as wives, there were plenty of annoyed husbands and harassed women. Today we are allowed to do anything. We are also officially not allowed to have sex. While on the one hand there are debauched orgies in swingers clubs or chemsex parties in the gay scene, at the same time there are more and more people who openly don't have sex. Multisexuals versus asexuals.

In addition, there are young people for whom sex is no longer a big deal and for whom a relationship means more than sexual pleasure. In turn, we are raising the age limit. What used to be a taboo now means that pleasure can be experienced in old age. Wonderful! So here, too, we are offered the entire spectrum. There is a general trend towards listlessness. This would suggest that, similar to the Japanese situation, we will soon have no other sex than with ourselves. However, as Germans are not quite so technology-obsessed and are also becoming more and more mindful, this could also mean a shift from public to private. And everything that is secret will become interesting again.

What do you think? How do you envision sex in the future?

Anja Drews - qualified sex educator for ORION