Yuck, some readers might think, if I had known that beforehand. So when women ejaculate, only urine comes out? But the rumor goes even further: female ejaculation and squirting are not the same thing! Now I'm really confused. If only a little bit comes out and it's milky, then it's ejaculate, if more comes out, then it's urine. Have I understood that correctly? From what amount of fluid do we have to take care of our bedding? And who actually said that again and what do we do with this knowledge?
What is squirting anyway?
Squirting refers to a specific phenomenon shortly before or during climax. Women who squirt release fluid in bursts when they are very aroused. The pleasure experience is not the same as orgasm! However, both can happen at the same time. What is related to orgasm, however, is female ejaculation - which is NOT the same as squirting. During female ejaculation, a whitish, thick fluid is secreted. However, this fluid secretion is usually so small that it is hardly noticed or does not even leave the vagina properly. In contrast, a larger amount of fluid is often released during squirting. This then comes out in bursts and is usually clear and liquid. But what kind of fluid is it? Urine, for example? At least that's what the rumors say... Studies are said to contradict each other: Some say it is urine, others that it only contains a small amount of urine. So the scholars are arguing.
Science is not always the measure of all things
Before this rumor finally drives away the desire and the climax, I would like to clarify a few things. French scientists have conducted a study on female ejaculation. And even though the results were published in the venerable Journal of Sexual Medicine in December 2014, the scientists only ended up studying seven women. Seven. And this is where the difference in fluids is said to have emerged. "The data we collected during ultrasound examinations of the bladder and in biochemical analyses indicate that female ejaculation is the involuntary secretion of urine during sexual activity, although a marginal amount of prostatic secretions can also be detected in the fluid." Doesn't sound very erotic.
Studies show that the fluid resembles male ejaculate
But don't panic. There are also studies that show that this fluid is similar to male e jaculate, only without sperm, and therefore does not contain urine. The similarity of the fluids is explained by the fact that there is spongy tissue around the woman's urethra, which is also found in the man's prostate. We refer to them as "paraurethral glands". They are located in the area we refer to as the G-spot or G-zone and, as with the prostate, their stimulation can cause feelings of pleasure. The prostate produces the fluid which, together with the sperm, forms a man's ejaculate. And there is no pee in it. Only tiny traces from the last time you went to the toilet. This is because the ejaculate makes its way through the urethra during orgasm. However, if it can't come out for any reason, it flows back into the bladder. And then it is peed out together with the urine. In women, the tissue around the urethra can also fill with fluid and, with the right stimulation, shoot out just like in men. It can, but it doesn't have to. And I like this explanation much better than the French one.
Urine or prostate secretion?
Is it urine or prostate secretions that come out when women ejaculate? Honestly, I don't know. As is so often the case, different studies lead to different results. However, I assume that all women who can squirt would have noticed if large amounts of urine had come out of them. Urine is generally not colorless or odorless. And it doesn't shoot out of us in a high arc either. But it is exciting how difficult it is to research female sexuality. Is there a vaginal orgasm or does it all come from the clitoris? Does the G-spot exist or does it not? Is the cervix sexually sensitive or not? Why do we have an orgasm at all? The list of questions is endless.
Female squirting: What's so fascinating about it?
I also find it interesting that squirting is number 7 on the list of most searched porn terms. It seems to exert a great fascination, especially on men, when women squirt. Perhaps the squirting liquid is the apparently visible proof for men that a woman is in the mood. And an orgasm! Because if squirting is directly related to an orgasm, then the guesswork would finally be over. Did she like it or was she just faking it? No, there would finally be clarity. But that's not the point! Sex can also be great without an orgasm. Because it's not just about the physical sensation, but above all about the closeness and connection that we feel. That's why, on the other hand, sex can also be unsatisfying despite an orgasm. Because women can actually come without the excitement. Especially those who have good vibrators know this. What's more, squirting and orgasm are not connected in women. The two are also separate. So the proof of orgasm does not apply.
Can every woman squirt?
Every woman has the physical ability to squirt. But only a few women actually squirt. As already mentioned, the topic has not yet been researched in any great detail or representatively. However, it is assumed that women can at least train it. As the secretion is said to come from the prostate, it helps to stimulate it. The female prostate is located roughly where the G-spot is supposed to be. Inside the vagina in the direction of the abdominal wall.
One thing is certain: The head must be free! You can only achieve squirting if you really relax and don't work frantically towards something. Try it out for yourself. The G-spot and the clitoris should be stimulated at the same time. Whether with your hands, a vibrator or your partner is purely a matter of taste. Incidentally, trained pelvic floor muscles are suitable for more pleasure or any pleasure at all. Relaxation can actually lead to super orgasms - but you can't say that squirting makes orgasms more intense. Everything is simply interrelated and cannot simply be broken down into "if then" equations.
Women who squirt report that it feels as if they have to go to the toilet shortly beforehand. Simply give in to this pressure in the lower abdomen and accept that the sheets will get wet. But please don't expect too much: many women try for years and only achieve a few drops of fluid.
Why do women ejaculate at all?
Experts are still debating the significance of female ejaculation - on the one hand, it is said to have the purpose of moistening the mucous membranes in the intimate area. This increases lubrication during sex. Secondly, the secretions are supposed to neutralize the acidic environment in the vagina and ensure the survival of sperm. The glucose in the ejaculate is also supposed to serve the sperm as a kind of nourishment and concentrated food on the way to the egg. Well then, have a good trip!
Orgasm without ejaculation: Does it make you ill - or is a woman ill?
Some women actually try to suppress an orgasm because they are embarrassed by their partner's female ejaculate. Apart from the fact that there is no reason for this, not every woman ejaculates - only around two thirds of all women have so-called paraurethral glands (also known as Skene glands, which secrete the ejaculate). The frequency of female ejaculation should therefore only be between 10 and 54 percent! Because secretion is therefore not an integral part of the female orgasm, non-ejaculation does not usually have any pathological value.
You don't always have to know everything exactly
Sometimes I wish I was back in the days when we could simply trust our feelings. The times when not every little thing was investigated and picked apart. Times when there were still taboos that you could break and that made sex exciting. And I don't even want to know exactly what comes out of us. If it's fun, then it's good. And if it's not fun, then let's just leave it alone. The sporty shooting out of fluids in the style of porn certainly doesn't look like fun to me. We can certainly do without that at home. You can try it out like an exotic spice. But many of the women I talk to aren't keen on soaking large areas of their bed linen with it anyway. And those who do enjoy it can just get on with it. Ultimately, nothing has changed, whatever the outcome.
Anja Drews - sexologist for ORION
Date: 23.07.2020