It's wonderful to see so many people deciding to take this romantic step again. However, couples are also getting older and older: on average, men marry at 33.7 years old and women at 31. The chance of a traditional wedding night with a bloody sheet as proof of the virgin bride is therefore tending towards zero. However, this is not what we think of when we hear the word "wedding night". No, we're more on the romantic side. At least, if we ignore all those who come from a different cultural background and see things differently. But what happens on the wedding night instead? The really big feelings or rather the quickie? I asked around about this.

Weddings are no children's birthday party

Before the couple can go to the bridal suite at night and indulge in love, there's a lot to get through. Sleep in? No way. The best day of a couple's life starts early in the morning. Yes, I know, I'm being a bit pathetic here - after all, there are plenty of couples who only get married for tax reasons or similar objective considerations, and of course not all wedding days look like the one described here. But exaggeration is illustrative. And perhaps one or two people will recognize themselves here. And incidentally, I have already experienced it in exactly the same way. So, let's continue. The bride in particular is dressed up. Hair is artfully pinned up, special make-up is applied, hands and feet are manicured and pedicured, the whole body is waxed and spruced up. No time to rest. The dress is put on. Lingerie, stockings and the obligatory garter complete the picture. Oh yes, not forgetting the shoes to match the dress. Not always comfortable, but always beautiful to look at. In the course of this morning, a completely normal woman has become a beautiful bride. What is the groom doing during this time? I have no idea. But he certainly won't be lying around lazily.

So, then we officially start. Off to the registry office or the church. What excitement! Yay! They both said yes!!! Hugs, handshakes, congratulations, off to the photo shoot. Full concentration and no time to rest. The reception, a first glass of champagne, congratulations from all sides again, the food calls, a glass of wine and still no break. Many a bridal couple can't get a bite to eat because of all the excitement. Speeches are made, the bride and groom have to survive a few prepared adventures from their guests. And still no time to rest. And then the music is turned up, the party starts with the wedding dance and from now on it's time to shake a leg. Resting? No way! Partying is the order of the day! The alcohol is flowing and the bride and groom can now let loose. It gets later and later. In summer, the sun has often long since risen by the time the last guests stagger out of the hall. The bride and groom can finally go to bed. Uaaaah gääääähn.... And now it gets interesting.

Romance looks different

Although we are not assuming that the groom is now introducing his beloved to the joys of love for the first time, expectations are high. Will he carry her over the threshold? Or will he waver a little after several glasses of gin and tonic? Nobody wants the bride to bang her head against the door frame. So they maneuver their way in and stagger towards the wedding bed. Will they still manage to elegantly free themselves from the robes? Or will they simply fall onto the sheets? No, they barely make it. But elegant looks different. Now there are different scenarios: Both fall into an immediate deep sleep from exhaustion after a long day. Or he falls on top of her and falls asleep. Or she does. There are also newlyweds who end the night with their faces over the toilet bowl. One maid of honor told me that she ended up drunk as a skunk in the bridal suite while searching in vain for her hotel room. Hm. A familiar sight here in Hamburg are brides dressed in white early in the morning at the fish market. Tradition is tradition. But I also know of a couple who conceived a child that night. That's possible.

Let's make the wedding night a recurring ritual!

What does it matter if the night simply comes to an end after such a long day? A wedding day like this is exhausting, no question. But it's also wonderful and unforgettable. There is so much to experience that it will be days before all the events have been recalled from memory. Why can't that be enough? How would it be if we simply postponed the romantic, wonderful and love-filled wedding night to another time? As a ritual, perhaps even on each of the upcoming wedding days? Then we can take our time, plan in peace and enjoy the anticipation. And then we can simply take out the dress, lingerie and garter again.

Anja Drews, sexologist for ORION