But that's probably the end of it. I'm starting to worry that there will soon be no more room for being alone. And no more excuses for it. You almost have to apologize for this relationship status. Because we are being indoctrinated. The big dating sites are probably not just flooding my consciousness. As soon as the TV comes on, beautiful young people appear on the screen and tell me that they are looking for a partner and want to change their lives. Not just their relationship status, no, their whole life. As if there couldn't be a fulfilling life for singles.

And of course they are all looking for a partner for life. We're no longer satisfied with anything less:

➢ Could it also be a one-night stand? No.
➢ An affair perhaps? No.
➢ The great love? Yes, please.

It seems so easy: "I'm parshipping now!" is the proper noun for dating like the O.B. is for tampons. And if you don't join in, it's your own fault. But why actually? We are so open! Anything is possible, but we will soon have to justify our single status.

The big run on the dating portals

On dating portals, the possibilities for finding your dream partner seem endless.

- Here, entire subscriptions are offered, there are random matches.
- Some people spend days working on their profile, others are satisfied with a snapshot on the sofa.

There are plenty of people who, in their search for happiness, still find it too much work to officially register, enter account details, reveal something about themselves and think about what they are actually looking for.

But that doesn't matter. For those, there are dating apps like Tinder. Post a picture of yourself, if you have to, and that's it. That's all you need. Swipe, swipe, swipe, someone will be there. Too stressful? Fine, then we'll just use Once. Here you only need to look at one person a day. An algorithm will decide which one it should be. Wonderful, it's almost like a supermarket. In principle, all you have to do is reach for it. Or so it seems. It's all very simple. Are you still single? Why would you be? Why don't you find someone? You don't want to? Can't be.

Our movie heroes and heroines show us how it's done

It's not just dating sites that spread the image of the happy couple. Television offers the very best model. The extremely popular series are all about great love. Who didn't share Carrie's excitement when she fell in love with Mr. Big in endless episodes of Sex and the City? What a drama when Derek died in a car accident and a great love affair came to an abrupt end after equally endless episodes of Grey's Anatomy!

The big blockbusters also very often feature Mr. and Mrs. Right who turn each other's lives upside down. I'll just mention Pretty Woman, Titanic or Spiderman. And then there are all the German soaps that are particularly popular with young people after school. Berlin offers the very best examples of how people get to know each other, fall in love and argue. As a couple, of course. Love, love, love. You don't want that at all? No way!

Relationships as a health factor

Partnerships are also said to be good for your health. People in relationships live longer, are healthier and have more fun in life.

➢ "Intimate relationships are good for us. They give us a feeling of safety and security. If you live in a stable relationship, you can share your problems and worries with your partner at any time. You can rely on mutual support and have someone who is there to help and advise you."

I read that on the website gluecksdetektiv.de. Pity the poor singles, you might think. Desolate lives. Who do they talk to about their problems? Who listens to them? In fact, singles often have a very strong social network. If all that glitters were gold, the many couples therapists and counselors would have nothing to do. Nobody would come to them because their relationship isn't working, because their partner is unfaithful, because their sexual desires remain unfulfilled. Are you single and happy? Enjoy life!

You can be happy without a partner

Please don't get me wrong. OF COURSE there is love "till death do you part". And OF COURSE there are happy couples and stable relationships. But we rarely look behind the scenes. All too often, couples tear each other apart, unhealthy dependencies exist and dreams are not lived. Everyday life does not live up to the ideals. The romance in the movie ends with the credits. What happens after that, we only find out in Bridget Jones.

At the same time, the eleven million singles are often portrayed as deficient. As if they are in an in-between life that is not equal. It seems as if they are all looking for love and partnership. But that's not true. There are plenty of self-proclaimed singles who are simply enjoying life. Maybe they were once part of a couple, maybe they will be again at some point. But in the time in between, they enjoy their status and don't need pitying looks. So the next time you have a single person over, don't ask: "Uuuuand, have you found someone yet?" Instead, shout: "Live your life!"

Anja Drews - qualified sex educator for ORION