Online dating - relationships should last longer

A study shows that more than 37 percent of Germans have registered with one or more dating portals at some point - contrary to popular belief, only one in five people look for an affair online More than half click through the portals to find a partner for life. A study found that one in three marriages is now the result of an online date. The exciting thing: On average, these couples get married faster and stay together longer than partners who met at work or through friends. Of course, none of the portals can guarantee love. As in real life, it takes a bit of luck and courage. But why not give it a try ...?

Rebecca (46) from Hanover has been looking for a relationship for two years

I never really wanted to spend money on finding a partner. That's why I was on a regional free dating site for quite a while. Half of the messages I received there were questionable, and when I did meet someone, the contact quickly fizzled out. Others soon made no secret of the fact that they were just looking for a fling. But I have absolutely no desire for such gimmicks.

My sister then persuaded me to sign up to a paid platform after all. If men have to pay, they are more likely to be serious in their search, she said. I can't confirm this unequivocally, but at least I was now more motivated not to give away the money I'd invested and had regular dates for a while. But so far rather unlucky. One situation was particularly disappointing: I had been writing to him for weeks. And of course, our messages had become longer and more personal over time. I had the feeling that we were totally on the same wavelength. However, the first date was a complete flop. Not only did his profile picture hardly correspond to reality, he wasn't at all as open and funny as in his messages. I said goodbye to him quite quickly and never heard from him again. I have the feeling that you're always dating a pig in a poke on online portals. And that's just not my world.

Anke (47) from Kiel turned Uwe (55) down first

You have a very nice profile! Would you like to write?" No, I didn't. I had already been registered with elitePartner for a while and had made the following experience: If someone writes such an unimaginative message, they are not really interested. Even a quick glance at the writer's profile didn't convince me. On the outside, he wasn't really my type. He also seemed to be an outdoorsman, whereas I'm a city dweller. I politely declined the invitation to chat. It's a good thing Uwe is so persistent.

The next day I had a long message from him in my inbox, which made me a little more curious. I wrote back and the exchange went on for a while until he suggested a meeting. To be honest, up until that point I was still a little unsure whether Uwe and I were even compatible. I wrote to him about that. His reply: "Let's find out over a glass of wine!" All right, I'll put up with him for an hour, I thought to myself. When we finally sat across from each other, my doubts were blown away. I immediately felt a deep intimacy with Uwe and felt as if we had known each other forever. The hour we had planned earlier turned into a long night. We've now been together for nine months.

Simone (48) from Münster immediately fell in love with her boyfriend Klaus (51)

For a long time, I refused to register with any online platform. I always had the romantic idea that my prince charming would cross my path. But after my divorce, the years went by without anything new happening for me. Eventually, I gave in to my best friend's urging and registered with Parship. After just a short time, my inbox was overflowing with nice requests.

I felt very flattered, but none of the men really aroused my interest. At some point, I was pretty frustrated and wanted to give up on the subject. But then one evening I gave myself a jolt and browsed through the partner suggestions. And then suddenly there was his photo. He smiled at me so cheerfully that I had to click on his profile straight away. The more I read about him, the more I felt an excited tingling in my stomach. I wrote to him and soon received a reply. We exchanged messages for a few days. At some point, he suggested a phone call. We talked about God and the world for a good three hours and agreed to meet in a café the following Sunday. We clicked immediately. We kissed on our second meeting and from then on it was a done deal. Two years have passed since then, and all I can say is: it's still wonderful!

Tips and info on the topic: Online dating can be a great opportunity

Our expert Eric Hegmann has been advising singles and couples for 15 years and has written several books on the topics of dating and partnership.

Why are more and more people looking for a partner online?

"Online dating offers the unique opportunity to make contact with people outside of your personal environment that you would never have met otherwise. We're online around the clock these days, so it would be a tragedy if we couldn't find love wherever we are."

How do I find the right platform for me?

"Try it out! Every reputable service will at least let you see which partner suggestions you can expect in your region during a free test phase. This way, you can easily see whether you can find the people you are looking for on this platform."

What should I generally look out for when dating?

"Be aware of what you want, what you can bring to a relationship and what experiences you no longer want to have. Change and break unsuccessful patterns in your search strategy, even if they are your personal prey patterns."

What mistakes are often made when dating?

"The first date is not a promise. It's only there to find out whether there will be a second one. That's why you should talk to each other on the phone quickly to confirm the first positive impression and then get to know each other in person as soon as possible."

What are your personal tips for the profile?

"It should make it clear that it will be a pleasure to be with you for many years to come. In other words, don't kiss pessimists. Be optimistic, curious and open."

Read also:

This is how Germany loves - interesting results of a study
9 good reasons to be single
9 good reasons to be in a relationship
Looking for a partner: Why are so many Germans single?