She takes a deep breath. The sea air tastes of salt, the wind whips around her ears. She closes her eyes - and feels: nothing. Emptiness. And for the first time in her life, she is happy about it. Daniela has fond memories of her time at the North Sea. It's been over a year since she went there for a cure. "Looking back, I can say that the cure saved me in 2015. Myself and the family. I was simply at the end of my tether and couldn't take any more. But I would never have admitted that voluntarily," explains Daniela.
Two children, a job and a mother-in-law in need of care
Her part-time job as a sales assistant, her three husbands David, Tom and Hendrik (43, 7 and 5), the household and then her mother-in-law, who needs care for a few hours three days a week - Daniela's everyday life is wearing her down. "In the beginning, this multiple burden wasn't a problem. David offered to help me, but I always felt like I had to do it on my own."
After a few years, the insomnia set in. Daniela can only close her eyes for three to four hours a night at most, to switch off a little. "In addition to the extreme tiredness, there was also this lack of energy and emptiness at some point." She no longer feels like doing anything and feels downright overwhelmed by the smallest situations. "And really from anything and everything. Once my youngest called for me, but I just stood there and couldn't move."
Diagnosis: exhaustion syndrome
Since that day, Daniela has also blamed herself. "Bad mother", "failure " - the Flensburg woman suddenly found herself in a spiral of negative thoughts. "But somehow I still worked. Until I just couldn't stop crying at the end of 2014. That's when my husband dragged me to our family doctor, who prescribed the cure. Diagnosis: exhaustion syndrome."
Daniela wanted to apply for a mother-child cure, but a friend recommended that she take the three-week break alone. "I sat down with my husband and we decided together that I should go through with it without the children." No sooner said than done. And? Daniela recharged her batteries during the three weeks at the North Sea. In a session with the local psychologist, it becomes clear that things can't go on like this.
Together with David, she restructures her everyday life. "I've realized that I don't have to do everything on my own. Today, we share the tasks and I take little breaks. And: I'm no longer such a perfectionist and take a more relaxed view of things. That's good for the whole family."
Tips and information
Experts estimate that one in five mothers in Germany is in need of a cure. What rules apply to an application and what you should look out for:
Who is allowed to apply for a cure?
Every mother with children under the age of 18 is entitled to a three-week cure every four years. Prerequisite: It is "prescribed" by a doctor or the need for it is certified.
Does the spa stay count as vacation?
No. The three weeks are not deducted from working mothers' leave. The employer may not refuse the cure and must release the woman from work for this time.
How do I apply for a cure?
There are advice centers such as the Müttergenesungswerk (Mothers' Convalescence Association) that help women prepare for, find and apply for a cure (information: www.muettergenesungswerk.de).
What offers are there for mothers?
The aim of a cure is for women to learn to concentrate on themselves again. Sport, talks with psychologists, lectures - a precise plan is drawn up for each mother on site with the counselors.
