"When I look back on the past few years today, I'm still stunned. I still don't understand how Jürgen could change like that, how he could simply throw our marriage, our happiness and our dreams for the future overboard. And then I ask myself: could I have changed anything? But I don't allow myself to be dragged down by such musings so often anymore. No, I have enough to do to get my life back on the right track - for me. That takes a lot of energy. But thank God I'm on a very good path.

"We saved up to travel the world together one day"

I married Jürgen for love. We agreed on everything. It seemed perfect. We liked being at home and having friends over, we went out now and again. We found our shared hobby in tennis. As soon as we had time at the weekend, we booked a court, soon became club members and found nice people there with whom we spent a lot of time. From time to time, we also talked about having children. But we put that on the back burner for the time being. We were simply doing great, enjoying our lives and our togetherness. Our biggest dream was to buy an apartment one day, stop paying rent and then travel the world. We set up a savings account for this and paid in monthly what I could spare as a secretary in a small company and Jürgen as a consultant in an IT company. Everything was perfect. Until Jürgen decided to set up his own business.

He had been unhappy in his job for a long time. A colleague of his had felt the same way. He had set up his own company, drove a big car and invited Jürgen for champagne when he met him by chance. It all sounded pompous to my ears, but Jürgen was suddenly obsessed with the idea of starting his own business. He spent all evening working on a concept. It sounded coherent to me. And Jürgen was so incredibly euphoric - I didn't want to raise any doubts. Of course, he needed start-up capital. So we checked our savings. That was already 45,000 euros. Good, but Jürgen would also earn money. He rented an office, furnished it, bought an expensive computer and a pretty big Mercedes. After all, he had to make an impression on customers. Anyone who drove up in a Golf wouldn't be taken seriously, he said. I thought that was a bit exaggerated, but again said nothing. Maybe he was right.

"Jürgen worked a lot, but the company didn't really get going"

The evenings at home became pretty lonely. Jürgen went out to dinner with potential customers and went to trade fairs. He was also often in his office at the weekend. We didn't go to tennis at all anymore. Good, I thought, that's just the way it is when you're self-employed. And I wanted to keep his back free. I wanted him to fulfill his dream. But his company didn't really take off. In the end, we pumped my parents. They mortgaged their house, which would one day be mine - they gave Jürgen 100,000 euros.

Our evenings with friends became increasingly rare. When we did have visitors, Jürgen would only tell them that he was about to close a great deal, that he would soon be very rich and that he was going to order a Porsche. Inwardly, everything in me resisted this boastfulness. But I wanted him to succeed so much. The friends soon stayed away completely. I didn't question their reasons and just thought: we would invite them back when the company was finally up and running and Jürgen was more relaxed.

"My savings and my inheritance were gone"

And then came our wedding day. I wanted to surprise him and drove to his office. I approached the house with a picnic basket full of goodies ... and I saw him come out arm in arm with a woman. I stood rooted to the spot and watched as he gallantly held the door of his Mercedes open for her. At that moment, my world fell apart. The next day I confronted him. And he said in all seriousness that he was now moving in other circles and that his girlfriend was a suitably beautiful woman. I was so stunned that I couldn't say anything. To this day, I still don't know how to answer that without becoming vulgar.

I was fully aware that separation was the only possible way for me. When I asked him for the money back, he just laughed and said that it hadn't happened for a long time. And if I wanted to know for sure, there was nothing to get from him. And he was absolutely right: in the divorce proceedings, it turned out that he was on the verge of insolvency. I don't know whether that's really true or whether he spun it that way. I just suddenly found myself quite destitute, my savings and my inheritance were gone. And my parents weren't too happy either, as you can imagine. Of course, we didn't have a prenuptial agreement and we didn't make any arrangements when he went into business for himself. That was just stupid of me. I'm just so glad that I've always worked.

The fact is: I'm now 42 and had to start all over again. I'll never have a condominium. But my dream of traveling has remained. So now it's time to save again. Three months ago, I met a very nice man. I could imagine a future with him - and I'm trying to build up trust with him."

Tips and information on the topic: A contract makes sense

Edith Schwab, family law lawyer and mediator, has a law firm with colleagues in Speyer. Here she answers the most important questions about prenuptial agreements.

Who has the most financial disadvantages? Woman or man?

"It is still mostly the women who have to struggle with financial problems after a separation. This is especially true for those who live in a traditional family structure, i.e. the husband is the main earner and the wife is responsible for the household and the children and perhaps has a part-time job. However, following the 2008 reform of maintenance law, the wife can no longer rely on her ex-husband to provide financial support beyond the divorce."

Are there often women who really lose everything?

"There are always very touching cases, especially after a long or very long marriage, in which women have relied completely on the continuation of the marriage. If the husband separates at an advanced age, the women often have no real chance on the job market. These women not only lose all confidence in a fair solution through the law, they lose all confidence in the future. Their entire life plan then collapses. This often leads to deep despondency and even depression."

Money or feelings - what is the reason for a break-up?

"Money is rarely the reason for separation, it's usually hurt feelings caused by the partner's infidelity, disrespectful and insulting behavior, excessive need for control and jealousy that leave the partner with no room to breathe."

Is a prenuptial agreement the ultimate solution?

"Yes, a prenuptial agreement is always strongly recommended. It can't regulate feelings or prevent the couple from becoming estranged. However, it can cushion financial risks in particular. A prenuptial agreement gives both partners security and prevents disputes."

What advice would you give women before getting married?

"I would advise them to seek legal advice before getting married. I can only make rational decisions if I know about my rights and obligations. Rose-colored glasses are very nice - and we all love them. But marriage is also a contract, and common sense can't hurt."