It was a Tuesday morning. My husband and our son had already left, I was off because I only work part-time. The doorbell rang, I opened the door, and standing in front of me was a woman in her mid-30s, blonde, pretty and obviously pregnant. I knew at that moment that my life would change completely and I would question everything.
"I always like to be by his side"
The beginning? Of course it was great: Alexander and I were in love, everything was rosy, he carried me on his hands. I also loved the social life with him, and that's still the case today. He can really move on any stage, is entertaining and has made a career as an engineer. He represents something - and as his wife, I always enjoy being by his side.
In my eyes, he was the perfect partner. And everything went just as I had imagined. We got married, bought a little house, had our son Felix. I found another part-time job as an office administrator. We were considered a picture-perfect family. Everything fit. Almost everything. When our little one was three years old, there was a charge on the credit card bill for a wellness weekend for two in a luxury hotel on the Baltic Sea. So Alexander hadn't been to the exhausting workshop in Berlin, but had cheated. I was thunderstruck, stunned.
"I didn't want a weekend dad for our son"
What should I do? Should I throw our marriage at his feet? A single parent in a small apartment? I walked through our house, which I had decorated with so much love, and saw the drawing of our son on the wall: mom, dad, child. I didn't want to let him ruin this life for me. Besides, our son was still far too small. No, he shouldn't grow up with a weekend dad.
Okay, the pink cloud had long since dissipated and I realized for myself that our partnership was no longer as close as it used to be after Felix was born. We lived side by side in a more amicable way - and in front of friends or at official celebrations, we were the perfect harmonious couple. Nevertheless, I decided to keep quiet. I put the statement in the pile of post. And Alexander? Did as he always did. But there was evidence of his guilty conscience, and also that he wanted to stay with me. He brought me flowers and we went to all the parties together. Everything stayed the same. But I realized that he had other women. I felt it, but ignored it - and cheated on myself for many years.
And now? There was this woman at my door who said: 'I just wanted you to know about the child'. When Alexander came home in the evening, I asked him: Why? He didn't have an answer, but he assured me that it had really only been a one-off and that he wanted to stay with me for the rest of his life. Everything was so harmonious.
"I wanted to lead my own life"
I imagined the future with Alexander by my side. But the child and his mother would always play a role in our lives - even if only financially. And there would be more affairs. I realized that from now on I could no longer ignore the others. And I wanted to lead my own life, especially as Felix would soon be moving out, perhaps at some point with a man who would only be there for me. And if no one else came, that wouldn't be so bad either."
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