The search for happiness is almost as old as mankind itself. Even in ancient times, scholars wondered what triggers this special feeling. We now know: Happiness cannot be tied to external conditions. A person who, as the saying goes, has everything they need to be happy can be disgruntled. Conversely, someone who lives from hand to mouth every day does not have to be sad.
According to experts, happiness is much more a question of inner attitude. Or as Yves-Alexandre Thalmann puts it in his book "It's never too late to be happy": happiness fulfills us depending on how we value events in our lives. If the psychologist has his way, we need to change the way we think. He has developed a concept that promises us happiness in all phases of life. Firstly, we need to train our present mindfulness and learn to live in the here and now. For example, if we meet our friends for dinner but pay most of our attention to our cell phone, we won't feel happy. On the other hand, we need to use our memories and experiences and consciously focus on the enriching moments in life. That way, you can look forward to a positive future.
Consciously enjoy the present
Those who live in the moment and notice the beautiful moments feel the rush of contentment
Stay reflective
The more attention we give to negative thoughts, the more important they become. However, when we realize that a thought is just a thought and not reality, we take away its power. To distance yourself from a thought, it can help to put a few introductory words in front of it, such as: "My mind whispers to me that ..."
Reinforce positive thoughts
The more we focus on positive things, the better we feel. When we experience something positive, we should think about it as often as possible. Tip: write down the experiences in a diary.
Time for beneficial activities
Plan activities that you enjoy. Preferably ones that bring you into the company of like-minded people.
Adopt an attitude of gratitude
We only really appreciate many things when we suddenly no longer have them. An important tip from the happiness experts is therefore: take particular pleasure in the things you take for granted in your everyday life. A downward comparison can be helpful here. Like this: "My car may no longer be the latest, but at least I have a ride." A grateful attitude also leads to a positive outlook.
Finding your own story
Even if we don't only have fond memories of the past, we can deal with our past in a way that strengthens us
Emphasize pleasant things
Our mind does not reproduce an event exactly as it really happened. For example, a single detail can cause us to store an actually pleasant experience as negative. To avoid this, it helps to divide an event into individual sections and focus on the pleasant moments.
Capture something special
Collect memories that break the routine of everyday life. A trip abroad, a visit to a musical ... This gives you the feeling that you are living life to the full. And: take photos when you experience something extraordinary.
Cherish memories
Think about enriching moments as often as you can. Positive memories are like beautiful flowers: if we don't take good care of them, they will wither over time.
Embellish events
Our memories are not set in stone, but are subject to constant change. So what's stopping us from adding a few details to them? Of course, it's not about inventing things that have absolutely nothing to do with reality, but rather polishing up the details a little - just as lovers often rewrite their actually chance meeting into an encounter predetermined by fate.
Dispelling gloom
We are only too happy to mourn "the good old days", ruminate on supposedly missed opportunities and sink into the mire of regret. This nostalgia is not good for us and is poison for our sense of happiness. Instead, let's remember that we have experienced many fulfilling moments. After all, it is up to us to decide how we want to evaluate a past event.
Shaping the future
Our imagination is a powerful ally when it comes to bringing more radiance into our everyday lives. We just have to use it correctly.
Develop anticipation
Imagine upcoming experiences in as much color and detail as possible. For example, plan a visit to a restaurant with your girlfriend, look forward to the delicious food, the friendly service, the atmosphere ...
Set good mood goals
Look for goals that make you happy - whether at work or at home. In anticipation of these goals, the brain releases neurotransmitters that make you feel good and happy.
Broaden your view
We often focus on just one element in our lives and see it as the key to happiness. Be it a romantic relationship or a job. This can be deceptive, as relationships can break down and unexpected changes can also occur at work. It is therefore advisable to free yourself from this illusion and instead focus on several aspects that contribute to your personal well-being.
Banish worries
All too often, we paint a bleak picture of our future. We worry about our pension or our relationship. But such thoughts only make sense if they encourage us to take precautions and avoid dangers. Otherwise, they just drain our energy and don't help us move forward. When your thoughts start spinning again, ask yourself: is all this worrying helping me? If not, put a stop sign in front of you or, if you are alone, shout out loud: Stop!
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