The four phases of breakup pain

1. denial shortly after the break-up

Many people initially refuse to acknowledge the break-up and still hope that their ex-partner will come back to them. In this phase, many cling to the hope that the relationship still has a chance and that everything will be okay again.

2. emotional chaos

In this phase, the person who has been left realizes that the break-up is real and that they will not get back together with their former partner. During this time, the relationship is often idealized so that the bad times are blocked out and only the good times are remembered. Those affected often suffer from mood swings such as anger, sadness and despair due to the pain of the break-up.

3. rays of hope

Although the ex-partner is still thought of from time to time, these memories become less painful each time. Life slowly starts to look up again and the desire to go out and meet new people returns. The previous anger is gradually replaced by new motivation for life and self-confidence builds up again.

4. new beginning

When the fourth phase is reached, you are usually over the former relationship and ready for the future. Those affected have come to terms with the past and can look to the future with renewed strength.

This helps against heartache

Shortly after a break-up, we first need to be realistic about whether the relationship is over for good. In this case, many people initially withdraw from their social life and try to deal with their pain and grief alone. However, this is exactly what you should not do: Talk to friends or family and confide in them. You should also avoid maintaining contact with your former partner, as otherwise you will not get out of the first phase. Therefore, stop contact and distract yourself elsewhere with your friends.

It is also important to process the increasing grief over the break-up in a meaningful way. Writing long messages or letters to your ex is not helpful and should therefore be avoided. Instead, it makes sense to keep a diary in which you can document the events and your feelings and thus process them. If you write down your feelings, they will become clearer to you and you will be able to deal with them and get over the separation more easily. It is also important to leave the house regularly, even if you find it difficult! Do something so that you don't have time to think about the break-up. It's time to meet new people and stop isolating yourself. Make a wish come true that you've always wanted to fulfill. It's good for you and cheers you up. Small setbacks or tearful outbursts because of the broken relationship shouldn't slow you down, it's completely normal. Enjoy every minute of your new life and be open to what the future may hold for you.

Tips for coping with the pain of a break-up

Of course, break-ups are not a pleasant experience. However, every break-up also opens up the opportunity for new love. Don't look back at the past, but focus on the future and what may come. And if that doesn't help, take the following tips to heart:

- Take time to grieve and don't rush into any decisions. Let your feelings out and don't keep them to yourself, but talk about how you feel and how you feel.
- Break off contact with your ex-partner! It's also best not to keep any mementos.
- Even if it hurts to come to terms with a break-up: Don't isolate yourself from your friends and still take care of yourself and your body. Sufficient sleep and an appropriate diet play an important role, especially when you are going through heartbreak.
- Don't let it take the fun out of life and do things you enjoy. Go out and don't hole up alone in your house. Don't let a break-up destroy your self-confidence. You are worth being loved!

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