Trapped in fear: Janett suffered from severe panic attacks for years
"End of work at last. As I step out of the air-conditioned office onto the street, the heat almost overwhelms me. The four-lane main road is very busy, the air is shimmering. And suddenly my heart starts to race. I can hardly breathe because the lump in my throat is getting bigger and bigger. My legs feel like a mass of rubber, a tingling sensation rises up from my feet, through my whole body - all the way to my head. It feels like it's going to explode at any moment. I would love to dissolve. Just become transparent. I want to escape. But I'm trapped - on this huge intersection in the middle of Berlin. After a few minutes that seem like an eternity, the spook is finally over."
It was eleven years ago that Janett first encountered fear. "I thought it was a panic attack at the time," says the 35-year-old. "But nothing more happened at first. My life went on as normal over the next few months." And for the adult education trainer, that means one thing above all: stress. Her job consists of constant deadline pressure, permanent availability - and few breaks to relax. The Berlin native had two years of peace from her anxiety. "But then I had another panic attack - completely out of the blue." And this time the fear didn't let Janett out of its clutches so quickly. She developed agoraphobia - a fear of large, public places. This turned life in the capital into a gauntlet for her.
"But after a few weeks, the fear disappeared again." But unfortunately not forever. "Five years ago in the summer, I had another panic attack - in the middle of the subway. That's when I knew something had to happen." Janett went to her GP and told him about her symptoms - and also about her suspicion that they were panic attacks. "But he didn't take me seriously at all, was very cold and quickly asked if he should put me on sick leave now," Janett recalls. "The only thing he offered me was a place in a training clinic for students, but it was on the outskirts of Berlin. He didn't understand that such a long journey would be difficult with panic attacks."
After the unsuccessful visit to the doctor, Janett is still determined to finally tackle her problem. "I spoke to a friend on the phone who is a psychologist herself and was therefore able to tell me how to proceed. I had to find a psychotherapist myself," says Janett. That same day, she called 28 therapists. "Only one got back to me - she would have the next available appointment in six months." But Janett needs help now.
"As I was doing quite well professionally at the time, I decided to look for a freelance psychotherapist who I paid for myself." Janett immediately started talking therapy there. "She also advised me to do exercise, yoga and autogenic training. The sessions also included elements of writing therapy. That all helped me a lot."
Janett now also spends a lot of time out in nature and with her animals. That does her good. In talk therapy, Janett works through why the panic attacks kept happening: "On the one hand, the extreme stress I had at work played a big role," says Janett. "But also my constant desire to please everyone - both at work and in my private life. I often put myself on the back burner - just to avoid arguments. I had to work very hard on these thought patterns." Janett continued treatment for a total of almost two years - "although I was already doing very well again after six months." After completing therapy, Janett began blogging about anxiety and panic attacks, primarily to help and encourage other sufferers(www.ich-habe-auch-angst.de/janett-menzel).
"Today I'm fine, I don't have any more panic attacks," says the 35-year-old. "The only thing I experienced again about a year ago was the fear of fear. It's a very vague feeling that many sufferers know. You think the whole time: 'Something's about to happen!' Fortunately, I now know that this feeling won't be followed by a panic attack. I can now trust my body to such an extent that I can be sure. And that feels really good."
